Your's Only..

Your's Only
Presented By: Penlord

Who can crack this nutshell?

"Son, there is no reason to hide."

As the dad took a hammer to the chest, and revealed what's inside.

The boy said, "Father! How could you?!"... Knowing of his old man's fate
As his mother agreed, nodding her head

.......but with a gun to her face.
His sister screamed out, "mother! don't you leave without me, please!"
And the child could only stare as his whole family deceased.
He fell to his knees, and screamed, but the room had no breath
So he layed with his family, and only felt welcomed by death.
We know that life has it's hardships, and some, not so hard
But they all sail the same way, and dock in the same yard,
Under the ground lies your family, yet, it's only the earth..
Maybe this is how we were taught, to not seperate by birth.
"A soul is only a power, giving strength to heart & mind"
The boy said, as he felt the release of pain, and only this time
When he fell to his knees, he wasn't happy, though, able to cry
In front of his families grave.. Because he knew it was a lie
And he hadn't fallen for it, and because he didn't join the fill,
He blamed himself, for not knowing they were going to be killed
Life only has two jokers, and each, is a game of chance
Survive or not.. each are shown swiftly - by quick hands,
And on one hand you have what's real, and the other, belief,
Truth tells is only the truth.. when they both bleed onto sleeves
One side of the blood is blue, and the other is red
One can breathe, one's alive, and the other is dead.
One's a part of a man that was once, just, sort of in love,
And the other's a part of a girl who's never even gotten a hug..
A third of us is an angel, the other third is satan himself,
And the part of us that are human, well, that part is burning in hell.
"I can help you out with the answer",
the boy speaks, Because I'm always lonely
But I do know what come's after.....



....."Is your decision only".


.. links coming soon. This was a topical verse against lw truth lw.

Link 1:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...93#post5337993

Link 2:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...00#post5338000

Leave links people, I'll get @ them.

Word. I really liked this piece man, you have a lot and again a lot of imagery in this one it kept flowing and the story kept getting better, i was upset that it wasnt longer, I deffinately look forward to reading more of your pieces and you dont have to elevate a damn thing. Everything was right on point. This is a rare perfect verse in my eyes, Bravo, i was hoping to read some dope ass shit one day lol.
Hit my OM plz.

This was a really good peice fam. I mean your flow was on point it sounded great you had a good structre, great story telling. This peice was great. You had very good use of imagery. Everything about this peice was good. Good peice and keep em coming

MVL, I hit your OM like you asked. Thanks for reading, you two.

More feedback, more links!

This shit was dope sonz! You are very nice with it yo.. Holler!

Nice drop brother. Once again your kicking in with the imagry. I was picturing it raining and dude on his knees saying shit like, "Only if I was home" and "I could of stopped this" You got a good way of saying the point without saying the point NahImean? Like to some it could be mistrewn and what not. Nonetheless, it shows a deeper side of the kid that has intrest to me. But then agian, I'm not gonna try to leave some long feed that will discredit your writings. Its all real, keep writing and then move to recording this shit. Its word.

I liked it..mostly because there much useless writing..each line got tot he point and i like that..the flow was pretty good..i like the topic, havnt seen this (but i havnt read much OM's)

fav:

Life only has two jokers, and each, is a game of chance
Survive or not.. each are shown swiftly - by quick hands,
And on one hand you have what's real, and the other, belief,
Truth tells is only the truth.. when they both bleed onto sleeves

Nice^

props pen.

8/10

dude sick fuckin drop im really feelin it words played in my head like a movie im tellin u ur gunna go far now if i can only get to where u are it'd help me out alot with the respect of the people on here im just startin out so gotta make a name for myself u kno but check my link and tell me how i can elevate


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319007

this was definatly a definite SOLID drop here man solid vision and vocab and strong content in flow and wording man seriously man.... nice put together man really welll done!... nice job man

hit the link in my sig
UNTITLED!.

Up, thanks for the links people. Everyone who posted one got.. uh... "rtf"d

Up. Leave links hoes. You'll get feed as soon as I come back to this thread.

Wording was nince and flow was anostant and smooth, the creativty of this peice was very good an had a good structre to back it up as well. The Imagenation was wild here and I loved it, the emotion was the only thing that could been worked on. Keep writing man, you're a great writer. i plan on reading more in the future.

~Belligerant.

alright.


I like the imagery in this one, and wording was almost perfect in my eyes.

Like your other pieces you kept the story going, which is always great.lol.

I think saying that you could improve something on this would beyond my level.

So keep at with your great vocab and imagery, and everyone will enjoy your pieces.

*and hit up my other link.

the story itself seemed a lil forced, as if it was missing a beginning. it wasnt very roll of the tongue, it was a lil' choppy up until the last 5-8 lines, which were very good and kept me intense up until the to be continued. i expect to see you keep going with that in your next drop.

return feed on my om... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319382

Ok, man. Wasn't sure where you wanted to go with this.. think you may have confused yourself a little. The beginning had that "jump straight into the deep end" feel about it & it had me vexed to where you were gonna go with it. I thought it was a pretty dope start to be honest. Then you start getting spiritual afterwards, and it made the piece half as good as it was. Work on your flow, man.. I'm not saying this to be a cunt, just letting you know. A few more relevant rhymes to patch up some benevelant lines.. watow. Nice piece, just needs touching up.. like my Mom :-)

Word, this was a good peice okay imagery but didn't have the "dope" touches and quality that sparked in my head for some reason but it was great to see how you took the topic and just went with it I wouldn't expect that it would be that deep and the vocab helped me understand more of exactly what happened nothing plain here. overall nice drop to me I liked it alot.

Everyone who dropped a link got their link hit up.

More feed & Links.