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Thread: American Baby

  1. December 2nd, 2006, 04:31 PM #1
    RushHour
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    American Baby

    American Baby
    Like a Rose From Concrete




    Put me in the system beat me black and blue
    So i can live just for music and die for it too
    Killing myself so silent for hope of a new day
    worlds fade to gray passing demonic parades


    American Baby
    Like a Rose From Concrete


    Sorrowful smphonys song on the streets daily execution
    into the abyss of darkness go our thoughts of revolution
    to even out the playing field to we add to noise pullotion
    still no resolution or diffusion in search of the conclusion

    cops still bruising
    they find it amusing
    we can't win for losing


    American Baby
    Like A Rose From Concrete

    The daily races going nowhere horses forced to comply
    You can't defy nor deny with blinders opon your eyes
    we're up for buy modern slaves born promise goes awry
    those who rufuse to abide hide from the worldwide genicde

    American Baby
    Like A Rose From Concrete

    Bury my microphone pen and paper to drive me away
    tell the storys of the streets another day
    Rip my spine out and sign my will in my own blood
    torture brutalize anaganize me take it all away in one thud
    So the tales of an american baby will last this last Flood

    American Baby
    Like A Rose From Concrete
    One Time OM HOF



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  2. December 2nd, 2006, 04:31 PM #2
    RushHour
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    Re: American Baby

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=317368
    One Time OM HOF



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  3. December 2nd, 2006, 04:32 PM #3
    RushHour
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    Re: American Baby

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318438
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  4. December 2nd, 2006, 04:56 PM #4
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    Re: American Baby

    I loved your piece..it was nicely put together...it flowed well...it's content was well written and thought out....you covered the topic well and the structure was good really grabbed my eye...the multi's were consistant.I see that you're elevating nicely as well...I like how you incorporated music into it seeing that it's the become the driving force of American Society..
    Last edited by Forum; December 3rd, 2006 at 03:26 AM


    Battles I need closed

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    ___________________
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    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

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  5. December 3rd, 2006, 01:24 AM #5
    RushHour
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    Re: American Baby

    what th3e blah up
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  6. December 3rd, 2006, 01:33 AM #6
    Engivale
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    Re: American Baby

    pretty cool... It was simple but I liked that about it... some of the multies could use better connector words to keep the rhythm from catching too many awkward long or short syllables, but good job mostly... I thought this was cool, using the tupac term as kind of a song chorus but more of a stanza divider.

    Stay up this was pretty cool could just use a little more practice making sure the meter is on target... Also, focus a bit more instead of making this broad-type message, I know about what you're talking about and society's injustices, but what do you think about it? How does a character you might create in this situation cope with the ramifications?

    Hit link in my sig to RTF when u got time. Thx

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
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  7. December 3rd, 2006, 03:17 AM #7
    DCPISFREE
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    Re: American Baby

    Having a post or two might not give you a good impression of respect from me, but I liked this. The topic is nice, and you sticked to it. The first and last stanzas (if you wanna call 'em that) are my favorite. Going in good and out good. Nice work.
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  8. December 3rd, 2006, 06:07 PM #8
    RushHour
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    Re: American Baby

    Quote Originally Posted by DCPISFREE
    Having a post or two might not give you a good impression of respect from me, but I liked this. The topic is nice, and you sticked to it. The first and last stanzas (if you wanna call 'em that) are my favorite. Going in good and out good. Nice work.
    lol i only got 16 posts on this account lol ups
    One Time OM HOF



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  9. December 3rd, 2006, 07:33 PM #9
    Truth Iscariot
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    Re: American Baby

    hey ho's feed or else i will stab your mother in the eye with a fork i ate corn with and shit on her shallow grave

    AI

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  10. December 4th, 2006, 11:32 AM #10
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    Re: American Baby

    uppp

    AI

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  11. December 4th, 2006, 07:20 PM #11
    RushHour
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    Re: American Baby

    uppp do it in the butt
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  12. December 4th, 2006, 08:57 PM #12
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    Re: American Baby

    The best piece I've seen you make by far. Good imagery, GOOD picture, Good story line, good catching custom, just, good everything. The more poetic side of you. I wouldn't say it's AMAZING, but it sure as hell is good man. I really enjoyed the fact it reflected an american life in a poetic way, I have some other ideas that opposed yours but I won't get into it.

    Good vocabulary and use of words. Nice man, keep it up.

    Peace..
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  13. December 6th, 2006, 07:16 AM #13
    Truth Iscariot
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    Re: American Baby

    wtf this is probably my greatest piece i have done by myself besides The Road To Freedom and hos stay sleep thats gay as hell

    AI

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  14. December 7th, 2006, 01:19 PM #14
    Truth Iscariot
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    Re: American Baby

    you know what u guys suck nah just messin up

    AI

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  15. December 9th, 2006, 02:32 PM #15
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    Re: American Baby

    my last up stop sleeping

    AI

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