A poem begot of tequila.

[Split]

A poem begot of tequila.

Challenged at times
Find the right state of mind
to recline and simply soak in divine
contemplation
the escalation is getting drastic
a spastic frame, entrances the same
as the sarcastic be it complex or plain
simple as pain, I dream soliliquies and remedies
thoughtful enemies are friends to me
never intentionally
I feel powerful
something great is in my fate
I've escaped the negativity
only to face this place
this place.. what is it
tailored and fitted
as if it was for it I existed
submitted grace and hate
replaced hate with a change of pace
found love bound by disgrace
I chase more than longful dreams
It seems the world crashes often
and words sound better when screamed
Lean with me, check the side, the profile
I arrived without arrival, a loyal desciple
lacking namesake and title
an average, a running of the mill
a distilled soul, trapped within skill
still I black out, losing words and time
my mind loses itself, only to find
that grime can be beautiful
useful, designed lyrical
break the about face, and stay spiritual
here we go.. again, my friend
are you ready, can you take it?
I worry for you. Not for me.
I'll be alright as long as it stays we
with glee I scream towards the sun
chasing that fun,
like a bullet seeking it's gun
it all blasts off at some point
I'll anoint myself, sure as wealth
I've found it
I'm grounded firmly in faith
wait, break that, but words can't be taken back
so with facts I move forward
along with my strange raps
I contract disease, spread it among you
what have I done too deserve being run through
nothing, simply because it hasn't happened
the mind is a tricky place
you can't catch me without passion
I'm seeking solace
I'm the unpolished stone amongst the roses
the breaker of growth, the taker of hope
at the same time
I give you what you love most
who am I?
These are questions we both ask,
both present and past
future is fact
I appreciate how you challenge my path
can you see it?
see it like me? see the harrowed upbringing
that's made a man out of plea's?
sorrow is a powerful thing
not as strong as it wishes
I long and I sing
my songs can be vicious
time is a sickness,
a parasite, as rare as life
take a look.....
at the might of the universe
my perverse sense of knowledge
steadily gains girth
with mirth I scream unto you
what do you want? What do you need?
how can I feed this hunger
which seems to never sleep?
I can't, but I will
does THAT make sense?
yes in essence.

[Split]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4768711

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...24#post4768724

[Client]

Damn.

The flow in this piece was absolutley AMAZING. I mean in some places I had to back and read because the first time I read it I was just so caught up in the flow. Besides the great flow this was a really good piece. You're vocabulary was very good, it seems like it faltered a little towards the end but that doesn't matter at all. You used some very good metaphores which I was really feeling.
I'm the unpolished stone amongst the roses
the breaker of growth, the taker of hope
at the same time
I give you what you love most
who am I?
That was real deep right there, really got me thinking. Then you said this which was to me the best line in the whole verse.
time is a sickness,
a parasite, as rare as life
Damn dude, shits crazy in the way that I took it. I don't know you might not of even used that to be metaphorical, but to me I was just like wow. Anyway great piece man, keep it up.

Poems get slept on like crazy, if you wouldn't mind hitting one of these pieces up it would be greatly appreaciated. Thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303048
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303232

[P. Mortuus]

This was quite a good read, different structure style to what i usually encounter but nontheless a good piece. The flow was good and allowed the reader to easily pick up the lines. The wording of sentences was also good in my opinion as i didn't falter and re-read what was written. Furthermore, there were many referneces to things, comparisons like which was an added interesity(Not sure if that's a word but yeah) basically, i found this whole piece though lenghty, ver interesting...word, stay up.

[Split]

Damn.

The flow in this piece was absolutley AMAZING. I mean in some places I had to back and read because the first time I read it I was just so caught up in the flow. Besides the great flow this was a really good piece. You're vocabulary was very good, it seems like it faltered a little towards the end but that doesn't matter at all. You used some very good metaphores which I was really feeling.
I'm the unpolished stone amongst the roses
the breaker of growth, the taker of hope
at the same time
I give you what you love most
who am I?
That was real deep right there, really got me thinking. Then you said this which was to me the best line in the whole verse.
time is a sickness,
a parasite, as rare as life
Damn dude, shits crazy in the way that I took it. I don't know you might not of even used that to be metaphorical, but to me I was just like wow. Anyway great piece man, keep it up.

Poems get slept on like crazy, if you wouldn't mind hitting one of these pieces up it would be greatly appreaciated. Thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303048
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303232

^replied to the bottom one.


thanks to both of you.

Up.

[Jay Walker]

flow was nice in the piece. no matter what it is, if that isnt there, then you're piece is meaningless to me. this also had alot of dope metas man. i'm not sure if i caught the message you were trying to send out, maybe because i have a.d.d., but i still enjoyed reading this due to the flow you were working with alone. usually, i only text or write to beats, so i dont really know what else to tell you, or what to break down on this topical tip, so i'll just leave it at this.


its was a real nice piece.

[Split]

I don't know if there was a message.. it was just words.. I wrote this in about 10 minutes.. just sat down and started writing.. and this is what came out. It was expulsion of the nasty shit inside of me. thank you for the feedback.

[Stunee]

The flow was nice, I did have to start up again a few times and rewind back to catch the flow again, but its all good. Vocab was there, and the word placement made sense...Alot different to some of the structure work posted here usually, but as you said you wrote it in 10 minz, than you can really notice a diff. It was a good read though, because your wordplay in different rhymes was coo, and kept me reading, the imagery was also tight by the way lol. Nah, but for real, i liked it man, stay up.

[Split]

upp

[Split]

Up again.. Reply to this and I'll return the favor with good honest in depth feedback.

[Wyte..]

This was a nice read i liked it, the flow was almost perfect. Imergy was good. Really creative. Good structre. Good vocab through out the piece. Metas were also nice. Overall this was a nice read.

Hit the OM in my sig called Writing please. thanks

[Split]

^^replied.
Upp.

[Twixn...]

replaced hate with a change of pace
found love bound by disgrace
I chase more than longful dreams
It seems the world crashes often
and words sound better when screamed
Lean with me, check the side, the profile
I arrived without arrival, a loyal desciple
lacking namesake and title

fav part^^^

i thought this was aweosme.... nice fresh style... very quick flowing... amazing flow actually waht i noticed most about this... at times it seemed like random rambling... but its all good... this was one of the coolest om's ive read ina while and ill def nominate it.... you can tell you do audio... and this could almost be put into audio format with a few touch ups... great work dude... pleasure to read...

check out birth and death if you got a moment.

[Split]

^^Replied.

More replies.. Leave links.. I leave good feedback in return.

[Edicius]

yea i could feel this message, havent really done any poem recently but this catched me up on how its suppose to be, nicely done fam.. if your once up for a collab hit me up

one