The M.I.C. (The Mistress In Control)

[the_madhatter]

to Jim Jones' "Summer With Miami"...........


The hottest summer in years, she slipped from undercover
Captured my every breath, from one gasp to another
Intentions shined darkness, like the color of her eyes
Green with the envy, black as the evil, the light blinds
Revealing toothy grins while purple haze filled her lungs
Fingers, flickering, fiddling through Jimi Hendrix songs
She was cutting through my soul, like flesh to a switchblade
Untangling charades along the way that were displayed
Building foundations to last guiding through miracles
Connections reacting at the speed of thick chemicals
Shoulders bunched tightly, my hands gripping figures
Fingers swaying in motion, that can give her the shivers

....You know you seem to think you know someone but in the end, they only want you for one thing....and as the mind games circulate our conscience...you have no choice but to give in.......

I dissolve her into passion, she spreads for easy gliding
Dragon breathing hisses, with every kiss of her thighs
Managing inner desires with every bit of her orgasm
Arching her back at the peak, enough to give her spasms
Summer nights ends in a blaze, facing the unexpected
She had got what she wanted, as my dick was infected
Spewing out more diseases than shook bottles of H-I-V
As I fell another victim to my precious M-I-C........

You see what you don't know.....is that this is only the beginning....for what else she had in store....you just have to tune in.........

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228607
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228295

[Aashes]

that's not bad at all. good imagery and depth keep on doin what u doin

[.On-UrB.]

ahahaha allright allright not bad lil To be continued rhyme...good shit nice imagery

some of my fav lines...

Intentions shined darkness, like the color of her eyes
Green with the envy, black as the evil, the light blinds

Good metaphore there from the green of envy, (which is the attracting iris of the eyes...and the pupil center black as evil...the light binding Pulpil into the thoughts of her mind....good mets..)

id like to see the sequel...
overall reall good piecce structured nice scheme, and deep in mets meaning,...

if u have some time peep my piece titled,
Insanity by onurb its a story i Keystyled on here...very good story im sure you'll enjoy it...i keystyled it though so its not as perfect as i wanted it, but i slapped it together to get it done, its long but well worth it,...enjoy piece

[the_madhatter]

will do, and thanks for the feed.

[Sammy B]

Good story and you brought alot of originality to this topic. I was impressed by how good the imagery was and also the cryptic style the story was writen. I liked the end and you built the story up pretty well with detail. One thing I noticed when reading it was some parts didn't have much complex rhyming going on, some more multis in certain areas would have really mad this an excellent piece. Not to say that didn't like it, the imagery was spectacular in some areas as well as emotion. Good drop keep it up

rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=224626

[the_madhatter]

thanks, ima keep that in mind about the multis.

[The Vortex]

nice rhymes imagery flow and aliteration.. cud maybe do with a few multies....
goo vocab in use for the most part... some poetical touches...nice use of words and plays with the metaphors effective...

sr8 up tite ish fosho

stay up

[Haywood Jewblomi]

I was very impressed by this piece. It had some excellent imagery, and flowed very well. A good start really. It also carries the story along nicely, and approached the topic well. Very original. Like Sammy B said, it could have maybe had more internal complexity, but besides that it was a very good piece. Nicely done.

If you get the chance, can you leave some feedback in the Open mic called men of honour (divine diction collab)? I'd greatly appreciate it.

[the_madhatter]

no doubt man, thanks for the feed also. any more thoughts?