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Thread: HiT N RuN. not good.

  1. #1
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    HiT N RuN. not good.

    it was just another day kiss my wife and girl
    head off to work, it's time to face this world
    put on my badge so people know i protect and serve
    swerve into the parking lot, i got 8 hours to burn
    on duty, looking towards a day of paper work
    quite sundays, people getting holy at church
    sit down at my desk, blow out hot air and pull up a chair
    lookin over case files of kids with parents who don't care
    it eats me up inside, wondering how this could be
    i got a girl and she represents everything to me
    she is the air i breath, the wind beneath my wings
    a special gift from god, greating me with blessings
    lost in a cloud of daydreaming i snap back to reality
    when the phone rings, i pick up and hear screams
    i start asking, "what can i do? are you being true?
    if this is a joke you know that im coming after you
    threw the phone and ran out of the building
    raced to the squad car, left tires screaming
    my minds going a million miles a minute
    is this a dream or im i really feeling it
    potent pictures in my mind to hard to deal with
    hate the bastard who's making my girl experience
    horrific life changing shit, why is she feeling this
    pull up to the front, and kick in the door
    hear a man screaming "stay still whore"
    bound and tied on all fours, cryin daughter
    screaming and sqeaking floorboards, it's over
    pull my piece and unleash, he's deceased
    rapid fire he stops, but me, i can't cease
    bloody blood is all i see, red visions, black thoughts and blue spots.
    backup cops, got wide eyes, seeing the point where the core rots.
    pick up my baby girl and hold her in my arms
    "daddy's here, im armed, he's gone, be calm"
    "stay strong, it cant go on, every thing is done and it's all over"
    from that day on me and my girl would hang our heads lower



    yo i wrote this in like my second week being on the site. tell me what you think.
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  2. #2
    Banned
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  3. #3
    Banned Ill Game's Avatar
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    yo djb this was sooo sick i dont know why people r sleeping

  4. #4
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    lol thanks ill. personally i think this is one of the most wack pieces i ever did. thanks though. credz the links are on there way.
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  5. #5
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    this was conceptually excellent man, and the imagery was great as well. if you rewrote this old piece with some multis and stronger vocab it could do some serious damage. as it stands, it was well worth the read and touched on some pretty fucked up stuff, which i like.

    good stuff, keep posting, looking froward to collabing with you again.

    if you could rep on mine in return i'd appriciate it.

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  6. #6
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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