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Thread: 24 Hours to Live

  1. #1
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    24 Hours to Live

    Figure- Mysterious Ways

    dlb- Not Good

    you have no idea how freaked out i was to see gene pool's piece of such a similar name and concept. that got posted literally 20 minutes after i finished writing this. i've got to give props to Psykosis for giving me the idea, this was gonna be a collab with him but i went oooooooooverboard with the verse length.

    anyhow, enjoy.





    I woke up this morning looking ashen faced
    Knowing full well I was to fulfil my everlasting fate
    The doc had given me the diagnosis from his prognosis
    24 hours to go, and in my heart I’d known this
    I’d set my plans in writing for the day to come
    I’d done most of it already, so in a way I’d won
    But there were a few things to do on the path to my death
    So I’d use the time left in the way I knew best
    The first thing I did was get my breakfast of pancakes
    The heavy syrup ones with thick butter my Nan makes
    It slid down my throat smooth, I managed my first smile
    Embraced the old lady, although it hurt vile
    I left the house and headed out to my favourite park
    Where my best friends were waiting from the day to the dark
    We played five a side for old time’s sake, in this fine state
    I still wasn't any good but that’s hardly a crime mate

    The game ended, my fella's waved their goodbyes sadly
    Although they were tough guys, to show love they tried madly
    The next stop, was a malt shop, in a secluded street
    I soon would meet my lady, but first, the sweets
    A triple chocolate sundae with all the trimmings and toppings
    The calorie intake wasn't stopping but fuck, I wasn't stropping
    The treat finished, no more diminished, the missus came in
    For the chance to get my game in, primal like a pagan
    She was a girl I’d been trying to get since I was 16
    Although she'd seemed a bitch queen, she'd changed that slick sheen
    When she'd heard the news, she came to my front door
    To pour out the affection I’d been asking for
    She squeezed my hand gently, led me out to her car
    Took me back to her flat to make me shout echoes far
    The passion of the intercourse blew my mind
    But to go into details is too rude I find

    I kissed her gently, held her tight for the longest of times
    Told her 'thank you', a statement realer than the strongest of rhymes
    My last task before I passed was the noblest one
    I went to a cash machine, feeling a little stressed son
    Extracted 3 grand, my entire life savings
    Stuffed it into my pockets, no time for tight behaving
    Walked to the orphanage near the road I’d grown up
    Rapped on the door, feeling strained now I’d shown up
    A lady answered who I’d known since I was five years old
    I had no signs of fear no, but plenty of tears though
    Whispered a message and pushed the notes into her hand
    Ignored her protests, this, more than most, made me a man
    I looked at my watch, 10 minutes, I still had time
    I ran at full pace to the monument where the light shined
    This was the final resting place of my forefathers
    The previous four fathers and many war martyrs

    I stopped at the statue of my oldest ancestor
    Told him the days events with no regrets or
    Deeds unfinished, so now finally I
    Threw head back to the sky and finally died
    So if you know your day is coming and there’s no sense in running
    You’re best to get your fun in because its better than nothing
    The morale of this tale, I’m telling you man
    Is the make the best of your time whenever you can

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  2. #2
    Original Outlaw Domain 9's Avatar
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    That was a bad ass verse. I had done a piece similar to that once before but I loved this one. Full of detail and strong lines. Good work

    pz
    Artificial Intelligence
    *~P.U.R.E.~*
    Can't Fuck With Old School



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    Damn Girl!

  3. #3
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    johhny that was dope man. for real probably one of my favorite pieces i have read from you. everything was on point. the rhyming was dope as well as the imagery and emotion. damn nice work fam. keep doing your thing.
    Follow at
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    Music --->>>>
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  4. #4
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    uppin this one time^ cheers for the positive feedback guys.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  5. #5
    Go Go Power Rangers
    Guest
    to bad it's mase's old song

  6. #6
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrEaTiOn*nInE
    to bad it's mase's old song
    shut the fuck up you ignorant freeposting twat. it's MY track, i haven't even heard of the one you're talking about, and not a single line will have been taken from it. if you'd bothered to read it instead of wasting your life writing that short piece of idiocy you'd know that. fuck you, fuck your entire family in the ear and any pets you may have too.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  7. #7
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    you know what it is getting down to the point that the only thing i dont like about your work is that im not on it.again very impressive and very well thought way to rep the fam with talent
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  8. #8
    Go Go Power Rangers
    Guest
    ok no one said that u took it i just said it was an old mase song....since ur faggot punk ass wants to be like that...fuckin retard look next time bitch before u ramble out of ur stretched out asshole....fuckin bitch....open ur eyes u lil cunt....aint no reason to talk about peoples families if u wanna ok i'll just run thru your house n' gun em all down n' watch u piss on ur self....bitch

  9. #9
    Go Go Power Rangers
    Guest
    i'll put ur words under ur last name hoe

  10. #10
    Acidic
    Guest
    yo this was a tight ass piece johnny nice ass structure nice storyline deep thoughts
    overall 9.8 / 10 tha only reason i got a 9.8 is cuz it started off weak but ended strong
    i liked it alot keep it up

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