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Thread: Horrible Dreams

  1. #1
    HoPe
    Guest

    Horrible Dreams


    Horrible Dreams


    These illusions in my dreams are really full of confusion...
    Un-Provin delusions of un-amusin images now un-loosened...
    No time to re-joice, and sleep doesn’t seem to be a choice...
    Too afraid to hear that voice that seems to never be destroyed...
    Boredemness I avoid, but no matter what i’d loose and fall asleep...
    In my dreams I’d fall too deep, I cant escape cuz im all too weak...
    A never ending whisper, screams with children slowly crawling close....
    Blood exposed, sliding out her eyes and nose with no surviving hope...
    My legs restricted, not even my small fingers are able to be lifted..
    My eyes not allowed to be shut, My life, not allowed to just live it....
    I’d think at times the only way for it to disapear is to do suicide...
    But every night its crystal clear that there’s no use to undo my life..
    So i’ll just have to live with the sufferin and the horrible dreams...
    N have people think I lived a happy life, wen that ain’t wut it seems...


  2. #2
    Be Safe!!! Lingwistik's Avatar
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    2-0
    not bad man, keep it comin, flow was pretty good and the concepts were nice, ive seen other dream things and shit, but this was pretty well done, good job man, keep it up, next time tho, try n carry a ryme into the next line after a bar, see what im sayin

    peace

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  3. #3
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Battle Record
    8-1
    great subject matter and pretty strong imagery and multis to back it up. its good to see some originality on here, vocab couldve been a bit better but the piece was good without it. a little short though.

    good work, keep posting.

    p.s. if you could rep one of my pieces i'd appriciate it.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    not bad at all but it seams lacking more umpgh in it and that is what made me steer from it
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Aug 2003
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    Mifflinburg, PA
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    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  6. #6
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    Battle Record
    7-6
    i really liked this piece. good job. check out the hit n run tryout and check in. i think we could use you. anyway the piece was very nice. it seemed a little short but overall nice. you had a great number of multi's and pretty decent vocab. good job man stay up.
    Follow at
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  7. #7
    mindone
    Guest
    I hella feel you on this man it seems like thats some real shit, hope your not writtin all that and really dont feel that way. But from what i can tell you do, thats how i feel most of the time. Word of advice if your writting stuff like that and people say they cant feel it or what ev that dont matter cause YOU feel it, and they prolly just couldnt survive in the world you live in.
    The flow was easy to follow, the words you used were good, i thought it was put together well. Keep writtin, ima be sure to look for more of your ish.
    Last edited by mindone; November 9th, 2004 at 11:36 AM

  8. #8
    Brace4impact
    Guest
    Good flow Nice use of words...no solid direction and a lack of punch took a little somthing away from this piece though ...Solid drop. Short but showed emotion..
    You have one of the tightest Names out there right now ~Hope~ i love it..
    Use that to your advanage....And Like My man Mindone said Dont be faken
    dont come with all that if its not were your from... Hip-Hop About realness
    Looking foward to seeing more from you...Keep It Up...
    Plz Return the fav......NEWTESTAMENT*

  9. #9
    HoPe
    Guest
    Credz, imma go get 2 links rite now

  10. #10

  11. #11
    DiZtuUrBed VoKal
    Guest
    yo this was a nice piece Im diggin everything about it. I hope to see more of your stuff in the near future

  12. #12
    HoPe
    Guest
    upppppppppppppppppppppppp

  13. #13
    Fuck You Tony B's Avatar
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    pretty good, nice concepts, good flo, kinda short tho, didnt understand some parts of it but still pretty decent
    - King Tone

  14. #14
    cAmoFlaugE
    Guest
    yeah you did fairly well, but some of your shit was forced.......you know what I mean, I'm not going to explain it, you are not a rookie... besides forcing it a few times you did good with your visulization.............

    7.5/10

  15. #15
    HoPe
    Guest
    thanx..uppin thanx..uppin thanx..uppin thanx..uppin thanx..uppin thanx..uppin thanx..uppin

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