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Thread: First Love

  1. May 5th, 2006, 09:46 AM #1
    Pusha C
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    First Love

    This a dedication to Ceira J White
    Its hard for me to live with out you
    cuz every time i dream its about you
    and every time i think its about you
    I know you say if i loved u i wouldnt have did what I did
    But thats the past baby and it is what it is
    I cant sleep cuz i know i did you wrong
    but you know if i aint love u i wouldnt have did this song
    i been with other gurls and they hot too
    but i couldnt love them for the fact that they not you
    couldnt see what i had i was too busy thuggin
    cuz with you it was bout the love never cared bout fuckin
    i wanna grab your waist and hold u tight
    just like the old days when shit was goin right
    to get back together i gotta do what i do
    cuz i cant see my future with out huggin and kissin you
    you inspire me to be great
    and i wanna wife you if its not too late
    I LUV YOU GURL
    Last edited by Pusha C; May 5th, 2006 at 10:02 AM
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  2. May 5th, 2006, 09:48 AM #2
    Pusha C
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    heres my two links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=289876
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...14#post4410114
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  3. May 5th, 2006, 11:08 AM #3
    Pusha C
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  4. May 5th, 2006, 11:13 AM #4
    Vikkie™
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    Awwww word.
    I feel this.I feel the entire verse to be honest.Its deep and has alot of emotion.Flow is nice and wording is good.I feel it and I feel your sorry.

    Dope.
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.
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  5. May 5th, 2006, 12:00 PM #5
    Nick Bean
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    emotional, Ite.
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  6. May 5th, 2006, 02:02 PM #6
    Pusha C
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  7. May 5th, 2006, 03:05 PM #7
    Plain-Thug
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    man i can relate to this....i was feeling it the whole way......i liked the topic....good job...rhymes were good...flow was smooth and the emotion put in this was good..good peice overall man..i really liked it...keep it up........peace~~~
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  8. May 5th, 2006, 07:20 PM #8
    Dyl
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    to be honest I didnt like this at all nd wasnt feeling it.I think it needed a lot more emotion for it to be a great piece.It all was very basic.Add more imagery and creativity in cause it just lacked that a lot.This is the 1st time i've ever read any of your stuuff but I'll be looking out for more and hoping that you improved
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land
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  9. May 8th, 2006, 12:47 PM #9
    Pusha C
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  10. May 8th, 2006, 12:49 PM #10
    P. Mortuus
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    This was an aight piece. It lacked vocab and metas or many multies which was dissapointing. It was a lil simple it had emotion but more could be added. Overall, this piece was average, keep tryin and you'll get better

    Would preciate some comments in return.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290637
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  11. May 9th, 2006, 12:50 PM #11
    Pusha C
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  12. May 10th, 2006, 12:50 PM #12
    Pusha C
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  13. May 11th, 2006, 12:53 PM #13
    Pusha C
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  14. May 11th, 2006, 02:10 PM #14
    Atti
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dyl
    to be honest I didnt like this at all nd wasnt feeling it.I think it needed a lot more emotion for it to be a great piece.It all was very basic.Add more imagery and creativity in cause it just lacked that a lot.This is the 1st time i've ever read any of your stuuff but I'll be looking out for more and hoping that you improved
    Ya, he pretty much said it. The piece possessed no emotion once so ever, and given the concept this thing should be bleeding emotion. One thing you can do to up the level of emotion is increase/elevate your imagery. Adding images to heartfelt feelings connects the reader to the content more and therefore will leave more of an authentic and solum vibe. And in the beginging, lol you rhyme "You" with "You" like three times man, reed other works and try and increase your vocabulary so you dont have to resort to rhyming the same word in the same tense multiples times like that again. Ya that's about it... Stay up and keep elevating.

    I'd apreciate it if you could reply to the Abstanti collab:
    "Poemicoriginate"
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291509
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.
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  15. May 11th, 2006, 02:13 PM #15
    Dark_Shadow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myself
    Ya, he pretty much said it. The piece possessed no emotion once so ever, and given the concept this thing should be bleeding emotion. One thing you can do to up the level of emotion is increase/elevate your imagery. Adding images to heartfelt feelings connects the reader to the content more and therefore will leave more of an authentic and solum vibe. And in the beginging, lol you rhyme "You" with "You" like three times man, reed other works and try and increase your vocabulary so you dont have to resort to rhyming the same word in the same tense multiples times like that again. Ya that's about it... Stay up and keep elevating.

    I'd apreciate it if you could reply to the Abstanti collab:
    "Poemicoriginate"
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291509
    word^^100%
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