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Thread: A Mind of Ambiguous Perceptions

  1. #1
    Abraxas
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    1,973
    Battle Record
    13-1

    Trapped In My Own Criminal

    A Mind Of Ambiguous Perceptions

    I see it in the eyes, and bliss the sky’s bending for a kiss.
    This myth’s fable, I sit down the cradle in the glowing mist.
    Assist of temper, tranquility taken over my genius mentality.
    Happiness decreasing, minds ceasing to exist…..and…
    ………………………………………..…….emotions falling gradually.
    Stress of attention, the comprehension of outgoing pensions.
    Not to mention blowing affections, the minds in detention.
    Sadness that borrow feelings, signs of pain and sorrow.
    Confused and abused, better luck thinking tomorrow.
    Like I’m trapped in a dream, seems the cranium’s corrupt.
    Abrupt screaming, No self-esteem but belief is a must.
    This life’s unjust, the souls working in different ways.
    A place to linger for stay………………………….
    ………………………………………. before the clouds ablaze.
    And this outbreak of mind, designed as a desired test.
    Blessed with a talent, but the thoughts failing to rest.
    Fading the stress inside me but flowing back like I.V.
    It’s time we walk out of with cries…….but
    ………………………………………… away from prying eyes.
    See, disguised lies to deceive guys to the brink of insanity.
    The sanity channeling me and challenging me savagely.
    It’s ravaging the silent air, and the climate surroundings.
    This bound to the mental picture, pulling fate around me.
    Sounds of voices getting louder pushing my annoyance.
    And the streaks of beautiful colors….
    ……………………………………………….. but winds of poison.
    It’s the decision in the right of mind, tis’ been vanquished.
    The ego’s a standstill, the mental felicity is vanished.
    But the abstract of ones negligence is keeping it intact.
    But my reaction, to this fraction has finally cracked.
    Can’t go back, don’t remember the memories of radiance.
    Tediousness terribly depleting my energy…..
    ………………………and this immense sense of no presence.
    These phobias surroundings all condense around me.
    The emotions of joy trapped in insanities boundaries.
    My soul’s being ripped apart, can’t ponder this drought….
    …. Is bringing me to the end of the Train of Thoughts.
    Can’t.... Go…. Further…. This mainframes subliminal.
    Crawls to the mirror and sees himself……….
    ………………………………………………….As his own criminal.
    Last edited by Paramik; April 13th, 2006 at 03:50 PM
    Percept Shun

  2. #2

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I don't know why people didn't peep this before because it was pretty deep and had good imagery nice tpic you did good and packed with metas...structure was pretty good I liked the whole thing it was just a good drop in my opinion keep writing like this here it's dope....check my OM out please:http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=279029

  4. #4
    Abraxas
    Join Date
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    Upping goddammit
    Ill feedback on your crap....
    Percept Shun

  5. #5
    Destiny
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    great job on this one bro. haven't seen you around in awhile. you did the topic justice, although played, your flow was on point. A bit choppy in the beginning, you picked it up and kept it steady. Excellent vocab and persistance. The imagery was strongest in this verse, next to flow. Wasn't the best I've read from you, but it was a good read. Good to see you still spit fire though. keep up the good work bro, thanks for the feed.

    peACE


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    Overall Rap Battle Record ~118Wins~10Losses~

  6. #6
    Abraxas
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    uppin for you shitheads that are to lazy to read....
    Percept Shun

  7. #7
    Abraxas
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    upping damn ill RTF......
    Percept Shun

  8. #8
    Abraxas
    Join Date
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    upping...
    ILL RTF
    Percept Shun

  9. #9
    Greatness.
    Join Date
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    This was a nice one man. The vocabualry was nice on this one and you didn't overdue it with it. The storyline was dope and stayed on track the whole time. The structre was great man it stayed right on traget no errors or anything on it. Theres not much things i can say about thi, this was a real good piece. Imagery was good too. I could picture stuff right from the begin. Nice stuff.

    Hit the "Shot in the Dark" piece in my sig thanks.
    Last edited by Silas; March 26th, 2006 at 07:04 PM

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    Owned.

  10. #10
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion
    good deal. I loved this ish, it was so emotional but so ..'Inside of another person' kind of thing. It was a treat to read. the flow was decent, some falling off in the middle and beggining there but no big deal. Deffinatly a good piece. You came with creativity and the storyline was oddly good. The title wasn't very attractive to other people which is probably the reason for bad feed ..but it was good. Great read man,

    !Nash ..
    ..hit the siggy

  11. #11
    Abraxas
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    I feel like upping this one more time...
    Percept Shun

  12. #12
    Abraxas
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    Re: A Mind of Ambiguous Perceptions

    Wow I forgot About this one...
    Percept Shun

  13. #13
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins

    Re: A Mind of Ambiguous Perceptions

    dont up old pieces
    A few achievements here and there

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