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Thread: All out Feining..

  1. April 13th, 2005, 05:55 AM #1
    Ehud
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    All out Feining..

    makes a phone call
    somebody answers

    Yo this is an Emergency, Wat kind you ask the type when ur ALL OUT going in a feining Frenzy//
    My drug Problem is an Inconvenience// Consistently rambling till the Rocks is melting my Silence//
    When I point out problems my finger Bends.. Towards me 4 im no fool I know im heaven decend///
    Living life to be only satisfied when cracks is proper// Needles easily penetrating for advance technoligies as provided it Sharper//
    Paranoid @ every nick and sound, especially when Cop'ers hovers overhead with helicopters//
    Happy when I got more drugs to load.. Bum when running out restarting the whole cycle of this Feining Episode//
    Help coudn't be giving to me @ rehab.. Cuz when I got tested in the lab, no protection has me diagnose with Crabs//
    Drug addictions to me is my worst Disease// Infection subliminal knowing its there like shadows of Tree.. Or when Reading a book and must complete the sentence by Jumping over the words between Parenthecee's//<<< Knowing its there but doesn't show.. meaning aids...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185652
    Last edited by Ehud; April 13th, 2005 at 05:57 AM
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  2. April 13th, 2005, 10:18 AM #2
    Mistral
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    Its 2 links sir not 1.
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  3. April 13th, 2005, 10:31 AM #3
    warchild
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    The concept was original but i just wasnt really feeling it the vocab was used wrong, it was different but there was just nothing in the piece that grabbed the attention only right at the end.
    The rhyme structure needs work try and keep the lines the same length, try and use your vocab better and work on the flow so the rhymes sound smoother.

    Return the favour:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185688
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  4. April 14th, 2005, 05:05 AM #4
    Ehud
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    thank U .. I will return a favor.. are u a war child I remember in msn
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  5. April 14th, 2005, 10:10 AM #5
    Mistral
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    only 1 link.
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  6. April 19th, 2005, 02:39 AM #6
    Mistral
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...22#post2285122

    Theres the other link.

    I shouldnt Re-Open this due to the fact that you have less than 16 lines but since you took the time to send me the link and get me the link and PM me. I will open this up.
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  7. April 19th, 2005, 02:43 AM #7
    Ehud
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    word thanks
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  8. April 19th, 2005, 02:50 AM #8
    HiBRID
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    Bleh, it wasn't ill . . and at wasn't bad.

    It was horrible.

    Lol, just kidding.

    But still...you need to work on your rhyme scheme, it didn't sound too good together. Plus your vobulary was a little to high for your standards. You mis-used words you didn't understand.

    Where's the other link?

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    I'm havin' you taunted and murdered/
    leavin you so touched by my shit...lookin' like i'm the pervert/
    Rejected in topics, you're abandoned like orphans/
    Stretch and rip, your existance ain't important/
    Squeeze your skill like torsion...leave your best-'absorbed'/
    Now YOU'RE the one who 'sucked', n' fell dead in battles, left-a-corpse/
    Like sex-and-porn...if you put your 'dick in my mouth', you still couldn't 'come-back'/
    Leave you 'pinned' in '(w)rings'...like attacking you with 'thumb-tacks'.
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  9. April 19th, 2005, 03:58 AM #9
    Ehud
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    thank You
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  10. April 19th, 2005, 07:26 AM #10
    Trema
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    .:The Topical Guru:. Trema's Avatar
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    hmm

    it waz aaarite,most of it i found hard2rhyme but apart from dat it ok! keep spitting,in future try to keep every line the same length.
    written voices makes hidden noises
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  11. April 19th, 2005, 07:33 AM #11
    Ehud
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    thank u trema.. I will use ur advice wisely
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