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Thread: pitch black

  1. #1
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    pitch black

    Residuals of residence remain held in the dormant forefront
    more smut smears pages similar to the way wasted tears blunt
    brunt emotion enshrouded with felicity’s fallacy of chaos
    so we stray off reveling in rebels curt and neglect we’re lost
    at this cost I detect only few truly expect a greater afterlife
    past this strife where dreams and reality intersect with Christ
    where one man dared to care and repent sin for righteousness
    despite this decrepit debris he kept an honorable decree in step
    pranced on the shadows of enlightenment to delight the rest
    invested in the holy word to move herds with his single breath
    nothing pent he exposed and showed how to properly follow
    borrowed wisdom from ancient times to build a lifelong motto
    molded sorrow into willingness to advance passed the past
    attracted the masses to act not on backlash but that heaven will last
    grasped the concept of a beautiful intent to inject society and god
    tried to hide evil’s facade and spoke his mind no matter what odds
    hard times breathing and old age set the stage for his great fall
    mauled by camera’s and the media feeding frenzy he called to all
    incredibly in his last days he still blessed people and preyed
    saved many lives, but not his own, he was going home today
    some say a lifetime of devotion was a matter of minutes away
    for the pope the white light and heavens gates opened for play
    finally a righteous life would pay off and he was grateful for that
    but confusion trapped cuz all he saw in his afterlife was pitch black



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=184907
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...25#post2285125
    Last edited by djb; April 13th, 2005 at 05:30 AM
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  2. #2
    Ehud
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    yo this piece is Tight... nicely structured and was really knowledgeable.. meaning it preaches to me when I read it...

    yo u keep dropping I keep replying...

  3. #3
    T.P
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    This Was Ok...
    Some Lines It Was Hard For Me To Grasp Tha Meaning Of Them...
    This Is Tha 1st One Ive Read From You So Maybe This Is How You Right....
    But My 1st Impression Was That You Tryed To Hard In Making This Deep...But It Jus Became Complicated...
    Well It Did To Me...
    Otherwise.... I Would Say There Was Some Nice Vocab In This....And Tha Ending Was Nice To....
    Feedback On This Will Be Apreciated
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...98#post2282498

  4. #4
    Newbie
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    That shit was tight, but try an put it down 1 line at a time so it does'nt look like a paragraph....keep it comin and drop it hard.

  5. #5
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    ^ douche, it is put line by line, if you couldnt catch the rhyme scheme you suck at life.
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  6. #6
    G-Money
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    nice....i like the concept n u definitely had right timing on this drop... the emotion was felt from the start...nice rhyme scheme n wordplay...vocab was on point....i cant really knock u for nothin in this piece was delievered great... keep droppin

  7. #7
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    thanks prophet and g money
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  8. #8
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    upping
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  9. #9
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    upping this
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  10. #10
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    can i please get some feed
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  11. #11
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    more feed please
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