Mez & SMZ~ Iambic Coitus

[Mesmerize]

Mez= itallics
SMZ= regular




I sit among a white raged page
A misfit lost, engaged on stage
With pausing fear, a loss of words
My nerves curve, attempting to merge
These lines, scattered through long lost days
I see a shadow trapped and caged
I tapped the outer windowpane
But all that came was pouring rain
Blurring thoughts cast in this sea
Words became unclear to me
Spread across a clueless ground
Surrounded as its shrewdness frowned
With suffocating emotions trapped
Locked in a prison and I couldn’t adapt
All I needed… was you, the key
To release my doubt and set me free

COME... grasp my hand dear earthbound treasure
Ascend into the aether of profound and clever
Thoughts - your form is taut - your skin hot
Your desire evident - but we'll pretend not
I'm just a fantasy creating other fantasies - right?
Only here to plant the seeds of sanity inside...
Inside you - since you've decided to
Write this tune, I'm the right Muse
Come with me - come - I'll show you glamour
Gaze around you and become enamored
Become enraptured - capture these sights within a page
Come my lady - let us write thru night and day...

My creed feeds from your holy ink
Injected solely, slowly in sync
With the melody you bring,
In harmony we sing
We dance in a realm of poetic dreams

Put your fingers like this... tuck your thumb here
Careful - don't bite the pen - just explore this frontier
For as we fly again - much more will come clear
Each time I slide within - arousing slumbering seers,
The ink is flowing forth from our forceful efforts
The pearly paper is pulsating before the pressure…

Pleasure devours, my minds climbing lettered towers
Connecting to your arms, a haven of flowing showers
A puddle of thought has flooded to a sea of creativity
Lifting me to admiration of this gift you’ve given me

Trust - the gift is in the giving - your pleasure’s mine
I exist to do the bidding of whoever invites
My cerebral alliance, or this euphoric merging
Could be the genesis of poetical verging
I can feel is surging, painful with bliss
As this angel emits a strangled cry which
Testifies to the delivery - sprawled athwart this paper
Of our child - born thru my favor
A magnum opus with a symphony of flow,
And epiphany of giving words beauty
A magnificent testament - a living verse truly




http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=166941&page=2
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...692post2013692

[Emerge]

dope

[Mesmerize]

thanks emerge...please peeps dont sleep on this, feedback

[Mag...]

props on keeping the normative meter iambic

if ya know what I mean

[warchild]

this was dope, the structure was good, ya flow was really nice in parts but you switched it up quite a lot.
the vocab was dope there was good imagination in the rhymes overall it was a really nice post.

hit this up.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167404

[CelticOne]

Ill ill ill ill ill! damn, yall kids musta done ya homework. the structure is so intense in this piece...half the kids on this site prolly dont even know what iambic means. strait up ideas you tryin to convey too, the vocab's not groundbreakin but at least it sets fire for the piece, i really liked this one, keep it up.

[Mesmerize]

thanks for the feed guys, upping

[spokenoh]

I like women's underwear. On them...that is.

By the way, nice poem. It should be in Poetic Scriptures though... You too made a good collab here. peace.

[Telekinetic]

Upping for Mez...
This was really really nice.
I wish kids wouldent overlook this.

[t-west]

dam, how come nobody viewin' this?

ill piece. good job on both parts, I actually read it and wanted to read it, might even go back for a 2nd one. Good job on both parts, and really feelin' the choice of words especially.

"Trust - the gift is in the giving - your pleasure’s mine
I exist to do the bidding of whoever invites
My cerebral alliance, or this euphoric merging
Could be the genesis of poetical verging"

^even tho everything stood out, this just captured me.

Ill shit, real good job by both.

Check out my piece thats located around here sumwhere, pz out. bless.

[Thrust]

you guys just merged into so well with each other it's probably one of the best i've seen in a collaboration like this. the writer's voice was stellar by the both of you.
mez, you did very well in playing your role with the piece. you started it off well and kicked off the emotion.
smz, the way i read your verse was sweet, i caught your vibe really well. you too played your role very good.
the whole piece was good, but the way the two of you ended was really nicely done.

nice work.

peep my piece in my sig if you get the time.

[Knoxxious]

Nice shit yo. Keep it up.

[numba1stunna]

wow, really good piece here....i liked everything about it. the structure, flow and the whole damn thing was good. more people should read this..keep it up

[Mesmerize]

upping.................................

[SMZ]

I'll respond to everyone in a bit...