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Thread: Good Morning, Beautiful

  1. December 15th, 2004, 12:57 PM #1
    Mistral
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    Good Morning, Beautiful

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159245
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160178

    Good Morning Beautiful...How Were Your Dreams?...
    Mine Were Wonderful........With You In My Reach...
    And When I Wake.....And I See Your Sweet Face...
    I Can Hardly Wait..To Just Feel Your Lips Embrace...
    ..............Its A "Good Morning Beautiful" Day................

    I always held so much inside...That I always kept hidden...
    Wasnt my choice to hide...When I had so much love within...
    I had no reason to care...But then you came into my life...
    And to you it wasnt fair...Been trying to make things right...
    To show you my heart...Then I make things so complicated...
    Sometimes its just hard...And I know that you just hate it...
    And I dont mean to drown...In sorrow that doesnt even exist...
    When true love is what I found...And I truly believe in all this...
    Everytime I hear your voice...Say I Love You Baby so sweetly...
    And I lay there and rejoice...How much your love completes me...
    ...So...

    Good Morning Beautiful...How Were Your Dreams?...
    Mine Were Wonderful........With You In My Reach...
    And When I Wake.....And I See Your Sweet Face...
    I Can Hardly Wait..To Just Feel Your Lips Embrace...
    ..............Its A "Good Morning Beautiful" Day................

    And back then I searched...For the one that I would call mine...
    But all I really got was hurt...And I can still just recall times...
    That I got lost a time or two...But I kept pushing through hard...
    When all the signs point too...You, Couldnt read them from afar...
    Every long lost dream I had...Took me to right where you are...
    On that long narrow path...And others who broke my heart...
    They were like northern stars...Pointing me in the right direction...
    Into your sweet loving arms...Full of your long lasting affection...
    With beautiful eyes that just glow...When I become in your view...
    And I thank that broken road....That lead me straight to you...
    ...So...

    Good Morning Beautiful...How Were Your Dreams?...
    Mine Were Wonderful........With You In My Reach...
    And When I Wake.....And I See Your Sweet Face...
    I Can Hardly Wait..To Just Feel Your Lips Embrace...
    ..............Its A "Good Morning Beautiful" Day................
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  2. December 15th, 2004, 01:01 PM #2
    Civilized Gangsta
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    ^hell fuckin yea son..that shit is tight...you worded your lines great...the flow was alright..the structure was built nicely...and the imagery was outstanding..i love the way you mixed all this together...the original song is great..and you just made it even better...umm..your vocab was also pretty good...i like your chorus..i think that part went great with the original..i see you mixed it up and added more lines..but i like that..and you made it sound good man..overall props...
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  3. December 15th, 2004, 01:13 PM #3
    Shadowsk8er
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    i love that piece man it was great....i can relate...hey that rhymed lol...neway nice flo and structure was good. i was feelin this one deep...keep at it man
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  4. December 15th, 2004, 01:53 PM #4
    Dan Dare
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    It was alright. Good dedication piece, but nothing really very clever. Might make a decent audio.

    Your flow is good, internals work well, everything is on point - I just felt it lacked something special. Maybe its just me though, I was expecting more. Anyway, good looks, I'll want to read more of your work after this.

    Take a look at this please:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159984
    ...
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  5. December 16th, 2004, 02:25 AM #5
    Mistral
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    Thanks For The Feedback Guys...Appreciate It...Up Up And Awwaaaayyyy
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  6. December 16th, 2004, 02:38 AM #6
    djb
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    this is good just not great. i have seen better out of you. nothing really stood out in this like your last piece. it was sweet and sincere but i didn't feel the same emotion as i ahve in some of your other pieces. i like how you keep the vocab simple cuz some people make my brain hurt. you had a nice rhyme scheme and overall a nice drop.

    i have a lovey dovey piece and i would love if you could please drop some feed for me

    my om: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159610
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  7. December 16th, 2004, 10:25 AM #7
    Born To Kill
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    ^^^That kid might have something...

    I like your mushy shit, it's aight...but it definately doesn't drive and test your skill like other pieces of yours I've seen.

    These are easy...you're happy, life is good, the woman loves you, blah, blah, blah...s'dope...for you...but for the reader it gets kinda eh.

    Overall, this was just fine, technically sound...I really felt only one area gave me problems...

    And back then I searched...For the one that I would call mine...
    But all I really got was hurt...And I can still just recall times...
    That I got lost a time or two...But I kept pushing through hard...
    When all the signs point too...You, Couldnt read them from afar...

    I dunno...something about the flow...maybe too many "to's" in that mix...I also think I coulda done without that "just" thrown in...I'd a also abbreviated "I would" to "I'd"...

    Maybe I'm just being picky.

    Anyway, dude...s'cool...prolly just a personal preference of mine...but, the way I see it...and this is coming from a happily married man, baby girl to boot...
    But I rarely write about the upside to that...I don't have but 1, maybe 2 pieces in my almost two years at RB that are happy, "I love who I'm with and where I'm at" verses...cuz...I think...

    They're not very challenging cuz, to me, writing about what's going on presently in your life...especially if the shit's on a happy note...well...you don't have to go anywhere in your mind...there's no imagination involved cuz ya basically reporting instead of creatively writing. Plus...and it's, well, all of this is just an opinion, but I think painful feelings inspire good writing more than happy ones.

    I've rambled...sorry.

    Peep this, will ya...Goodbye, Bitch...
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  8. December 16th, 2004, 11:23 AM #8
    Gene Pool
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    yea I kinda see the same direction where BTK is comin from here man. this piece was nice and all like everything was on point and I liked you hook but personally I think you should mix things up a bit. like I appreciate all the romance ballads and shit u put down here an all but it might be a good thing if you mix up a lil as well cuz most of your drops nowadays kinda surround the same concept. but as far as this piece go's man I did like it, coulda done with a lil more vocab I think but other then that shit was tight. keep up bro and soon as I get my comp back up and running again were gonna hafta drop a collab. peace.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

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    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
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    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>
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  9. December 16th, 2004, 12:28 PM #9
    Awaken
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    Basically, I'm not gonna say what you've heard already, really tight piece man, keep it up.
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  10. December 17th, 2004, 04:14 PM #10
    Mistral
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    Thanks for the feedback guys appreciate... Up Up Up.......And I dont care if i use the same concept over, its something i like to write about and most of my things i post up are meant to be sung most likely...but word.
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  11. December 30th, 2004, 01:39 PM #11
    Mistral
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    Imma have to say Up please.
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