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Thread: Act One

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Act One

    yes ppl I know this is a long read but if you could read through it and leave some intelligent feedback and possibly break it down nicely I would really really really appreciate cuz all my shit always gets slept on on this site. so if ya's could read it over then that'd be great. thanks in advance everyone. hope you all enjoy for those that do read it.

    Verse #1:
    Gene Pool comin back, cataract to the attacks/
    of these wack kats, white or black, it don’t matter bro’s/
    I’m steppin over the blows, dodgin the throws/
    and I’m still striking at every bone with lyrical flows/
    like a destined love, destiny best be rested above/
    lusting for some tongue, spit sick, ills in all of us/
    cuz I’m here to rap, not to understand the flak or the crap/
    surrounding whatcha can’t picture that will or won’t fight back/
    standing for what I believe, I’ve seen futures diminish in dreams/
    I’ve seen people go crazy embracing drugs they’ve gotten for free/
    like it’s a god, given and clogged, minds beginnin to thaw/
    from the freeze, troubled and speed, coupling like scraped knees/
    they bleed incentively, with consistency on why not to believe/
    so let’s just take this back to the start, beginning to end/
    fuck it my friends! Let’s just battle until we all dead/
    cuz it doesn’t matter about emotion anymore/
    it’s not about give and get, we just wanna explode/
    implode on the downloads of data we store in are brains/
    like multiple lacerations we fall victims in our own pains/

    Hook:
    welcome to act one, act one motha fucka/
    believe, corrupted visions here to help you see/
    this shits just the first act, the first act bitches/
    you know, corrupted visions droppin the new flows/
    and if you ever wish to question the antics of are minds/
    infringe yourself on style and send yourself back in time/

    Verse #2:
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/
    cuz I’ve just about run out of time to be messing around/
    no more can I handle these fakes who think they can bounce/
    so I sit and count em ounce by ounce, pound by pound/
    of how much arsenic I need to put all these bitches down/
    just call me a killa on a holiday, strayed to vacant occupied space/
    packin nothin but my fist and some mace, ready to do damage to ya face/
    cuz like history, I’m the maker, the re-creator of stability and peace/
    possibly be the stronger of the weak of destruction and havoc I reap/
    and when I speak I speak words deep sinkin in to seep/
    beneath the skin to melt you in concepts of granite and teeth/
    when I’m smashing you because bitches like you can’t handle the beef/
    so step back, lay back, and get off the rap, cuz the mic can’t hold/
    Gene Pool hear spreading influence with words through your souls/
    and I only got so much medication to distribute for possible use/
    but most out of abuse, lack optical invoice and they can’t pump the juice/
    so who’s problem does this shit become? who’s problematic number 1?/
    Look son, cuz to me you’re the one done from spinnin turntables and puns/

    Hook:
    welcome to act one, act one motha fucka/
    believe, corrupted visions here to help you see/
    this shits just the first act, the first act bitches/
    you know, corrupted visions droppin the new flows/
    and if you ever wish to question the antics of are minds/
    infringe yourself on style and send yourself back in time/

    Verse #3:
    but still I push, push to press Bush and Canada’s goods/
    to the border across, waiting out the loss of Kerry, it’s flawed/
    and misinterpretation, got us all caught up in complication/
    it’s latent for sociological war and civil manifestation/
    so let’s just be patient here for a second or two/
    cuz droppin bombs is the last thing that I want to do/
    but fuck it, this is an all out attack, government flak/
    got civilization carrying the world on our backs/
    and we walk around wondering what the fuck is that?! It’s wack!/
    Canada scandals ridin up are ass, Bush ready to level rebel attacks/
    and were just to sit back and watch our family’s get capped/
    for some war that doesn’t even involve, but still were grippin are balls/
    pullin along a belief that doesn’t recall anything but 9 11/
    a tragedy that will never be lettin forgettin but truth is/
    Bush, a communist, distant to the problems of his incompetence/
    but the problem is, that Bush, a problem that derives policy’s/
    lies of deceit and crime that go blanketed underneath are eyes/
    and what’s more to say, Canada standing at blame for mad cow gettin away/
    and mad cow just a fiction past the fact that are lives are in danger everyday/
    kinda makes you wonder what the fuck is wrong with our society today?/
    But that ain’t it, cuz prime minister martin’s a fuckin dick/
    and there’s one more bone to pick to get the thorn out the side/
    just walk into parliament and stick a fuckin knife in his eye/
    but no that’s a can’t do, not that I would really want to but still FUCK YOU!/
    Martin you back stabbin prick, go back to france with all them french shits/
    we don’t need em, we don’t want em, can’t have em hangin around/
    if they wanna split? Then get off are land and go back to your hometowns/
    and listen to the volume once more that I’m talkin to you/
    clustered like bombs, singin but I know you lost your point of view/
    for the public, ya love it, I bet, no regrets or respect, it’s for the best/
    it’s Canada, it’s nothin to worry about, 100 mil that we can’t account/
    for the sponsorship scandal, I’m sure you basterds got it all figured out/
    while sittin on your bags loaded with cash in your million dollar homes/
    break it and say “fuck the hobo’s livin on the streets out in the cold!”/

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...95#post1890295
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=157657
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  2. #2
    Banned SirusX's Avatar
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    For a really long peice it had some quick flows which i liked, it read like an audio peice

    but it was good.

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppin this! come on ppl quit sleepin. leave me a link to one of your open mics and I'll make a point oif it to leave some feedback in return.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  4. #4
    Im Cool. JAY DOT.'s Avatar
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    upping, that was very nice, flow was on point, you need to get that on audio.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    come on ppl stop fuckin sleepin on this. leave some feedback and drop me a link and I'll return the favor.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  6. #6
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    it had more prose then cons overall solid work you have talent and expressed yourseld graphically i liked it
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    bout damn time I get some feedback and thanx WP and thanx to you other ppl appreciate it but uppin this for some more drop me a link and I'll return the favor.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppin this for some more feedback come on ppl quit sleepin.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  9. #9
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    come on you lazy asses quit sleepin on this, and my apologies but all I want is a lil feedback takes u like 3 to 4 minutes to read through this and like another minute or two to write a cuople sentences so quit fuckin sleepin and drop me some feed and like I've said drop me a link to one of your OM's and I'll be sure to respond back to it. peace.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  10. #10
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    wheres act two? LOL

    ACT One- I like but was way too long.

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    act two will be comin later but uppin this for some more feed
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppin for a lil more ppl come on.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  13. #13
    Banned
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    Sorry it took me like 5 million years to leave feedback on it hehe...

    But it was nice man...I liked the read overall....Each verse was good I thought...each one had its ups and downs but i mean nothing serious, maybe a little different wording at a few spots but other than that man it was nice....I liked it...had good flow in it, one of the things that stood out to me...Vocab was good like usual from you, never expect anything less...But overall nice piece man.

    Check my piece out called...."Good Morning, Beautiful"

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