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Thread: Its Winter

  1. #1
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Its Winter

    Its Winter

    dark sky's...with chill's flowing into my spine
    leaves falling and love is the only warmth in this heart of mine
    every time i breath a cloud of steamy smoke uplifts
    from my mouth with my cold tender lips......
    trying not to get sick....40 degrees i mainly stay inside my hut
    warm and comfortable with a fire going and my eyes shut
    but...dreaming of hot summer days at the beach watching the sun setting
    then i woke up under my blanket straight sweating

    go out side,man its oftly cold
    fingers numb like an elderly man feeling old
    i got a headache as i look upon my snowy grass
    rain starts to drip,then starts to poor really fast
    at last i must admit i am not to fond of this weather
    you must dress extremly warm instead of tank tops and leather
    and try and avoid the flu....
    which really there's absolutely nothing you can do
    about it .....but to do your best to avoid the coldness
    mainly the ages that suffer mostly is the people with oldness
    but in a few months there is one positive thing
    and thats the fact that things dry up...because its spring
    Last edited by Kaotic Theory; November 7th, 2004 at 02:20 AM
    AI

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  2. #2
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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  3. #3
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    hmm.. just a little simple peice here, i liked it.. short, but none the less nice.. i enjoyed reading it, pretty good details, decent wording.. nice for a short peice right around the time of winter

  4. #4
    Legend of Gadget
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    this was a cool simple short peice.
    nothing too spectacular about.
    some of the parts were forced
    concept not played,
    overall, it's a slightly above average peice.
    Keep elevating, as always.
    pZ

  5. #5
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    This was a very nice short little piece...wow man i remembe when you were starting off and look at you now and you have become a good emcee...im glad to see that...this piece was nice...i liked the opening alot...and like how you changed your color scheme for when you spoke of a different season...clever...-E-

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  6. #6
    Good way of explaining love in a different form.I liked this poem it was good i had to read it twice to check my understanding but very good keep up the good work..

  7. #7
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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  8. #8
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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  9. #9
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    short piece, but all around nice. it made winter seem like more than just a season, which to me is creative. the flow was good, the structure was nice, and you even its also neat how you were able to add emotion to such a piece. the imagery was brilliant, ya got the word choice down. i actually felt warm reading this man. lol. nice job. keep at it.

    peACE

  10. #10
    $tyle/$witch
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    Nice Piece You Stayed On Topic..I Would've Liked It To Be Longer But Its Coo Eitha Way...

  11. #11
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    I agree, man, this was a nice piece man..I liked it...everything was nice in this...you had some good word choice in here....stucture was good in this as well, i liked it....flow in this was nice, stood out in it to me, liked the way you described things in this, very nice mental image!....Short though but it was nice for what you had in this...I liked it...as im sure most people will!...overall a nice piece man.

  12. #12
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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  13. #13
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    upping c/mon peeps gimme feedback
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  14. #14
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