when is he coming

[Ill Game]

i seen fatal accidents voting bush into the life
no more pain when we get bombed on
the talibans heart is so strong
dont get me wrong i love the country i live in
but no more given murderes a chance
take a stance agaisnt this government of ours
putting higher taxes on us actign like we all stars
instead of helping out the porr all these niggas worry about is how to get to mars
at bars getting drunk thinking when its gonna end
all n korea has to do now is type the password and then press send
no one can help us defend our country its beggining to bend
now as we reach the final hour of our states
presidential debates weigh out the kids oakland fates
no hate to cheney but even lesbians hate the dick
we all begin ask our selfs, he came before
wheres jesus when our world needs him even more
scared for my lfie right down to the core shakin and shivering over this endliess war
but more and more is to come many more dead bodies make me numb
htis is so dumb no fun all we gotta do now is ask ourselves
when is he coming cuz we need a new country for the runnin

[Optikal]

A Political minded subject.... I expect a lot of these this in this time of year.It seemed from a view of inside looking out... somewhat a cry out for help. Flow was good on most part. Somewhat simplistic in rhyme scheme. yet you got your point across and thats the most important thing

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[jizza]

That was tight, I liked it. It was deep in some places and had to be thought about. I thought the flow was good too.

[Kaotic Theory]

word this was more like a cry out,and yes your ryhme cheme was simplistic like optikal said....ur imagery and expression was sorta lacking....elevate bruh....and try using beter wording next time

peace