R.I.P Steve Irwin.

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn...aughter_pa.jpg

Steve I must say was one of the bravest men alive
Got bit attacked and everything else but survive
He would dive into waters…wit sharks
Walk into crocodile infested parks…
He left his mark…in all our hearts
I’m real sorry u and your family had to depart
Your show defiantly deserved to be at the top of the chart
Doing that lake movie was defiantly a big mistake
When I hear the news break…I jus wished it was fake.
I used to lay awake jus to watch your great show
Even when I was 8 I used to know for animals you’re the pro
I never thought something so small would finish you
After all the shit u went through…even in your own zoo
That stingray caught you…you did nothing to provoke
But maybe it’s our faults…we take stingrays as a joke
Well i`ma end this now…jus know we love you Steve
No matter what happens…in our hearts you’ll never leave.

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tbn...STEVEIRW_t.jpg

R.I.P
Steve Irwin
1962-2006

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308750
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309008

any problems with links brix jus let me know before u close it and i`ll fix it asap

u cared about him enough 2 make an OM about him? i guess so... but this was an original piece. nice lines. ok imagery. could have been better could have been worst

yes.

upp.

hm... this was a decent tribute i guess.. but the rhyme scheme was a bit too simple, and the vocabular ywasnt complex enough to help out the rhyme scheme... it also threw off the flow... decent grasp on emotion though, just try and inject some more... ok piece

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308930
hit it

dude... i really dont know n=e=thing bout topikals but wut i read sounded good and i mean good, i really dont see anything wrong witur verse, but you cant rely on me.....
yet. plus i like to see that sum1 shows enough respect to make an om bout him......
I n im sure steve gives u the gratitude that you deserve......oh yeah ur really pretty good for ur age!!

this was a allright turn out kinda weird you know making a tribute to a dude you didnt EVER MEET and KICK BACK WITH in life but yea....the scheme was bacis whcih i guess is ok..but it just wasnt complexed enough nor was really emotional grasping to me though it wsa nice flow and ish.....get more conetent and diction read up on dictionaries dude or read novels...folk lore and fantasy..it'll help you out!..

nice.

RTF on th elink i my sig looking at you

LOL i'm jus shocked you managed to drop awhole verse dedictaed to steve irwin..

I enjoyed it tho, good effort dog and I like the concept of you sendin a message to him rather than just rhymin about him...

Nice read right here, keep it up homie

this is th only tribute/dedication piece iv seen to Steve Irwin so far..
it was gd, th flow was consistent and th structure was gd
th rhyming was gd but simple
th concept of the piece was also gd
th imagery was alrite, but you could have dun with making it stronger as this would have helped to make the emotion stronger
This piece was a gd read and as i sed its th only 1 iv seen for Steve Irwin

Areas for improvement:
try and elevate your vocab a bit
also like i already sed, try and bring in more emotion and imagery

Keep dropping

thanks upp.

upp.

Okay, okay, okay. This was in that little abyss margin between utterly terrible and mediore, and you struck it right in between the eyes man. It was destined to be a bad piece, and the vocabulary was a little above average, and the wording was a little awkward to me. I saw the message that you tried to give, and the best advice I can pretty much give is just taking a little more time next goaround and trying better like you did man.

One.

Very decent effort bro. It was rather touching because personally Steve Irwin was a national hero here in Australia even though he has stereotyped us, but he was a self less individual.

thanks man..upp

To be honest this was nice because it was a dedication piece...I never really looked up to Steve in anyway....but some parts seemed kind of corny....you could've went about this from a totally different perspective and made it so much better if you would've researched Steve a bit more...and once again..the only thing that needed work was really your rhyming....

Rating:
5.5/10

This was aight for someone that proly never meet Steve Trwin, your vocab was pretty basic but you gave a lot of emotion like you really cared about him a lot. The imagery you gave was nice and all together this was written pretty well, kinda simple and basic, but still pretty good.

thanks upp