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Thread: My mind. (Different)

  1. #1
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    My mind. (Different)

    I wish that my blood was ink...
    I'd break free of slavery and rethink...
    This declaration of independence
    It's seperation, pending essence...
    My soul thinks that its seperate from body
    But it's kindled by fire, and wired by Bacardi
    Sandman, sugarplums, counting sheep
    Won't stop shots of rum before I sleep...

    My mind tumbles - is this breath or gas?
    Is it oxygen now? Or carbon dioxide last?
    Does my heart pump blood? Do my neurons fire?
    Muscle fiber - Part dud, part heralded sire...
    No crown for my head - only for my coke
    It's time that I said without sarcasm or joke
    I'm in a rut - I feel it in my gut...
    I'm alone because I need a woman ... not a slut.

    My mind twirls and transmits this dealing...
    Curls up, goes to sleep without peaceful feeling.
    It's love that sucks, takes you away- shucks
    Permanent vacation, by design erased in flux...
    I take my time, and wish for luck
    I breathe for air but receive corrupt-
    Information, ideas - this is Treason?
    As if committing it now even needed a Reason...

    I know my head's wrong, my priorities are off-
    Another shot of licquor and a hit of weed - I cough
    I slip away, back a day, back a week or further-
    I've been too stupid to stay lucid... Embroider...
    My name on wool, Make it expensive
    Looks like memory retains only extensive
    Events - Repents but Jesus was Who?
    The Only Son of God then;
    But if he first walked today would you consider it true?


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308287
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301355

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  2. #2
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    this was fuckin dope in my eyes...i love the rhyming....the flow was like perfect..well alomst...the multies were dope..strutre couldve been better but i can see you use a basic strutre...the wordplay in this was real nice...a couple of bars couldve been re-worded...vocab was nice...kinda basic...a very creative drop with a played topic..but this turned out real nice
    I wish that my blood was ink...
    I'd break free of slavery and rethink...

    that was a dope way to open it..keep up homie.
    Empire

  3. #3
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    ^uppin

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  4. #4
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    ^uppin 4 feedback plz...

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  5. #5
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    it was pretty good... was feeling the ending more than than begining... keep it up though.. nice flow n verse.

  6. #6
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: My mind. (Different)

    ^^^uppin' I was going back through some old stuff and I liked this and it got like one response.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  7. #7
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: My mind. (Different)

    ill edit this in with feed
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323948
    ^^
    hit that one up please homie!.


    feed on this for the meantime and when i get back ill edit this in i already bookmarked your thread.

  8. #8
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    Re: My mind. (Different)

    sup maaannneee!!!! i think your topical is tight... the vocab was broaden nicely and seeing as this is one of your old pieces i must have to say i think i like your old style better than now i mean i have seen your new ones lately from the SS aswell buyour drop here in my eyes was a bit better ya know it is a rhyme and the content in it spoke out clear with emotions on lock bruh it was a nice drop and i think i can learn from what i read from here i think my mind has broaden a bit more here man keep dropping!

    thanks for the enjoyable read!.

  9. #9
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    Re: My mind. (Different)

    hit this one back MAYNE! man i just started writing

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325146

  10. #10
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: My mind. (Different)

    Can't remeber seeing this piece... :/...but yeah as usual it was very good, though much much more different than your newere and other older pieces. Questioning instead of lamenting or informing and it had clever concepts and ideas thoguhout which made it an enntertaining read. I found the flow much much slower than your new pieces, though mostly still fluid enough and well...not really much more i can say, it was a very good piece and i would have considered a nomination had not it been made last year lol.

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