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God Or Father?
Chorus:
Some people call you father
Maybe you could set me free
These people hate each other
But you've always been there for me
!!!God Or Father!!!
Called you for a couple of my praires,
To end all of my problems and my afairs,
You didn't do anything at all,
You just let me die and fall,
You abanded me, your un-forgotten son,
You just walked away and told every one you were done,
Life could have been better for me,
All you hade to do is set my soul free,
You just pushed me away, not carrying,
Come at me now, bring it i'm dareing,
Some people call you father
Maybe you could set me free
These people hate each other
But you've always been there for me
I took the dagger but you said "NO Stop",
I told you "Why do you care" the there was a drop,
I fell to blood and tears,
Coverd with love and fears,
Life was great while you were there,
Then there was the day when you didn't care,
Never in life did i want to die,
When the day came we both wanted to cry,
But we couldn't, it drived us insane,
You died in a church, I died in the cold rain,
Some people call you father
Maybe you could set me free
These people hate each other
But you've always been there for me
Now my story ends with love and war,
Cant get down on earth, to settle that perfect score,
Never again to see the buetiful ocean, or my family,
But being here in heaven, i'v met people that respect me,
So my story ends without you,
The truth must be heard, now you tell me whats true!
Some people call you father
Maybe you could set me free
These people hate each other
But you've always been there for me
~Sinner~
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Come on please dont let these work go to waste.
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Ye I liked this shit.I really felt the emotion and liked your flow.You gat a lot of talent bro.keep coming up with this shit iight ;)
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Some bullshit feed here.
I thought this was good, man, The chorus was very simple but I liked it. I think this is one of the piece's everyone writes when they begin writing, not that great but probably the best yet, but I gotta mention the spelling... Some places the spelling was so bad it took away from the piece, though it was based on a simple style, the vocab was occasionally destroyed by the correct word not being used or spelt incorrectly. I think you have potential, as this was an OK piece and you didn't drop the "I'm greta, and look how big my gun is!" Piece, you came with a decent topical and I appreciate that...
...Nice work :)
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chorus wuz very simple stil it kinda went well wiv da whole fing.. gud use of emotion but cudda bin betta.. if u xpressed yo feelinz a bit more... overall it wuz niice readin it.. it wuz pretty deep, had gud flo... buh work on ur spellin, vocab, and imagery.. otha then dat gud topikal....
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this was a real good drop you had a real good flow and the piece was really emotional. Keep it up homey, I like to sse more from you
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