More Than Meets The Eye

It is Crunch Time but im having trouble with my Punch Lines
Im up Late In The Night, Dating The Strife, my Blunt Mind
Is clouded in something im thinking deep cant think of Crazy Shit
Made Me Sick, my psycho side is loose i contact the devil to Baby Sit
Weak Vocab, Speech So Sad, Streets So Mad, Fiends And Killers
Why cant i Write Dope, White Roach, im more Mean and Iller
Than i Am Now, put your Hand Down, i Aint The Teacher
Too Volatile, You Holla Wild, fuck jesus i Paint The Preacher
With the Bibles Lies, i have Suicidal Ties, so Take Cover
I'll Smack Ya Son, Blast A Nun, im a Bastard Son, i Hate Mothers
Envision an environment devoid of Crack Pipes And Fiends
A long prosperous future id love but Thats Like A Dream
My insanity is illuminating as i correspond with Odd Peers
My heart is Dead Now, Head Down, as i drown in Gods Tears
Craving corrosive substances to Numb The Cerebral
I abuse alcohol excessively im not One With The People
Im anti social aggravated assuming im Right In The First Place
My mother birthed me at seventeen, Reciting My Birth Date
I shed tears hardly ever believe it or not thats a Real Fact
My soul was robbed at birth and its difficult to Steal Back
Factory work is hard, doesnt help that its Low Wage
My aspiration for a better life is desperate like breath in a Cold Cage
And i aint saying this to seem crazy or to Gain Sympathy
The fakes im seeing through, im Being True, listen to my Insane Symphony
God, the bastard doesnt communicate so i cant Talk To Him
I just saw Jesus but as i approached i Walked Through Him
Shit, im trying to think of a good word Something Major
Fuck it im thinking of suicide, what a Gun Or Razor??????



Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=252791
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=253776

i like this this was good nice vocab and flow the wordplay was tight u dont see this topic often so thats good i would rate this 7.5 outta 10

Logging off now, how about some feed people?

phew!..this flow is a str8 knock out for real mayne..multies of da heezy...had nice sharp vocab as well...shit was not stop fire all the way home...lots of psychotic action as well which always hits home with me ... yeah feel like i can relate to a lot or all of the quotes and statements..like god not replying and shit...aint that the truth
nicely delivered with flawless flow..and plenty of punch for entertainment value...
had some dope mettaphors as well which gave the piece more deepness and originality
some nice wordplays as well.. like you got the shit on lock packed with elements
...yea i like the overall aggression of it and the delivery was spot on...

keep doing yo thing fo real G

Thanks Vor, uppin this.

woa..this had sum good flow amn..smooth as hell
rhymes and vocab were tight and complex
strucutre was good and topic was interesting
i was feelin this peice man..overall this was great
keep it up....peace----

Thanks for the feed, just replied to a couple of other oms so how about some more feed people.

great vocab and the flow was sick...i like how you use multis (somthin i have trouble with) but over all very tight drop man keep doing what you do

Yo that was reeeelly tight, it was deep, great flow, and let us just say the structure killed mine. Makes me wanna write. DAMN!!!!

im gunna admit im feelin it....interesting topic but u did a good job wit it im real impressed im lookin forward to seein more of ur drops in the future keep it up.....

Thanks for the feed, uppin.

Uppin come on now ive left feed on a lot of oms.

eminemish topic, good piec ei liked it, great vocab and the flowran very smoothly, thanks to the great multies, and hwat i liked about the verse is that the multies were bigger words, which isnt usual, good piece, http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=254035
rtf on that

Alright man, its like this ..

.. The title, is what really caught my eye at first, I was thinking, maybe, a story about a fight with somebody the same height, but ALOT bigger than you, or something along those lines, never the less, the title was a good choice. At first, I skimmed over your verse, making sure it wasnt going to be a big let down. I liked what I saw from the little I read, the line limit was a nice choice to, could have been slightly longer, being how consistant you came, but then again, you could have fell off with a couple extra lines, it wasnt TOO long, or TOO short though, so I liked that. You had a lot of multies here, I liked the way you arranged them too, the way you rhymed 3 words in the middle, then come with a new word at the end, rhyming another 3 words on the second line, then rhyming the last word with the new word you put on the first line, good idea, and very complicated, and hard to do. You stayed on topic very well, and you had a good storyline ..

.. I enjoyed reading this peice very much so man, keep up the good work, Im looking forward to reading more peices created by you, look out for a peice I will be coming out with shortly.

Peace.

Thanks the feed, there aint no need to check through my verses before you read them my pieces are consistantly dope. And nonbodies fucking with me when it comes to flow, multies, and internals, uppin.`

real dope that was off the chain, 10/10 for it all the ryhmes were dope as hell, the flow in it was amazing the ending was the best for me peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by warchild

Thanks the feed, there aint no need to check through my verses before you read them my pieces are consistantly dope. And nonbodies fucking with me when it comes to flow, multies, and internals, uppin.`

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Well, Im new to this whole net rap thing, this is the first site Ive ever been on, my friend was telling me how things run on a site like this earlier, but like I said, it was a nice peice, I enjoyed the read man.

alrite man nice jon this was tight, great vocab and rhymes and some good multies. the only bad thing was the structure but i dont give a fuck about structure anyways.. if i were to rate this drop it wood be 9/10 so keep up the good work

Thanks for the feed, uppin this.

Uppin.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=254378

Rtf please.

Uppin.