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Know My Name Now?
Alright i put these verses up yesterday but it was shut down cause i called the piece Murdering Multies dont know why the title matters.
Probably jealous cause they cant write this tight whatever ive changed the title. Shutting a thread down cause of a title thats FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Got people on here calling a piece Untitled and that dont get shut down.
STUPID AS FUCK.
Verse 1:
My game is mental, i mame the pencils, which im holding
I maybe manic, but a crazy planet, i spit my flows in
What i write between the papers lines, will rape ya mind
But if you sue me for it, you best truely forfeit, before i break ya spine
Im a thug with a heart, to me love is a farce
My rhymes are treason, im the reason, for the blood in the park
Fuck jokes, i cut folks, for trainers mobiles, plus coats
I dont hurry my crimes, study my rhymes, you cant get enough dope
Yes im arrogant but back it up, lyrically im the top one
This aint a metaphor, i'll wet ya whore, physically with a shotgun
Too many motherfucking thoughts circling around my cerebral
I put strife on verses, life long curses, are hurtling down on my people
I choose to breath, killing myself with booze and weed
My book of chapters bleed, i'll look after my seed, before im excused to leave
Im gonna be painfully honest and tell you i gotta death wish
Maybe in time i could change that, but my insane raps, are all im left with
Hook:Murdering multies like a monster daily
Im looking at the sky screaming save me
No response comes so i blow my brains out
Every motherfucker knows my name now
Verse 2:
The date of my death etched in my weed smoke
The bait of my breath left for my enemies quotes
Black mind, white mind, what im reaching when i write rhymes
I put boots to plans, i aint superman, i dont ever fight crime
Family knowing i'll fail, one arrest away from going to jail
Sitting in a cell, wishing it was hell, im cold and im pale
A crow appears looks at me as he sits on my shoulder
It never fits, like a terrorist, when he spits on a soldier
Posses sporadic thoughts, an addicts corpse, appears now
The reaper comes, to eat the son, as im writing my tears down
Fuck that, there aint a sensitive bone in my body
Im afflicted and im stressing, addicted to depression, alone i aint sorry
I still pray that the devil left my mothers womb alone
Im writing tunes im stoned, i love the funeral home, put that on my tombstone
People still couldnt understand me if they read all of my songs
Just in case your wondering this is an illusion i was dead all along
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Haha, a nice read Warchild. I think i might have replied to this before but i'll add something here in case i didn't.
Yeah, you murdered the multis on this piece, you had a shit tonne of internals and some great imagery in a few one-liners
"It never fits, like a terrorist, when he spits on a soldier"
^My faveourite line, your vocab was solid and the pace was good. The hook was catchy as well, this would make a good audio. I'm not usually entertained by this subject matter but you kept my interest.
Keep posting, we're short of good writers in OM.
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yeah i see what u mean about multis warchild! went for it big time and it worked. flowed nice. kinda like johnny this isn't usually the type of piece i go for in terms of the criminal undertones and stuff, but u brought it round in a pretty emotional context which helped alot. had that cormega style intelligent thug thing going on, i like. vocab was pretty tight, not too extravagant or anything but it needn't be. only real advice being maybe a change of topic, but thats just my interests so keep doin what u do.
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Yeh i read the murderin multis. Once again ima tell u how sick this piece is. The rhymes are nice, and the multis are very nice and everywhere lol. I loved the flow to this piece and the chorus was really nice. Overall i wuld giv it bou 9/10 or sumthin, dnt know ways to improve but theres is always ways to improve lol.
Keep droppin.
Peace :D Hit me up on !!! My room !!! plz bro.
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yeah iz pretty nice.. rminds me of my How can I Smile? joint..hitting off with sick deathly flows fosho
i prefer the first verse best as the 2nd kinda lost sum a da aggression for a minute but does pick up halfway thru agin..like a E pill flowed out kinder ill..
sick content kept it interesting to read and packed a lotta hott! lines.. ya done no just
keep bumping the sickness
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damn lovin the multi's..the vocab was good..and the hook was catchy actually the whole piece had a captivating feel to it...only problem i have is the length i'd ave loved for it to ave been longer...it's like i was reading it and enjoyin it but then it suddenly ended..if you get what i mean??
fav line
"It never fits, like a terrorist, when he spits on a soldier"
on the whole a very nice piece hope to see more from you in the future..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=232603
^^hit that its not an OM its a poem but feed would still be very much appreciated thankz
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woh
This wasn't lacking much,nice piece warchild. You had a kicking flow all the way through. Your vocab was on point and i liked the way you used it. Obviously you got verbal skills and your putting it in your work, this was a nice piece keep it up!
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verses were tight, and u kept the multi's cumin
was a good piece and there was nuthin obvious 2 criticise
werent really feelin the hook but it werent weak neither
good job
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lo lthiswas hot nggs i liek your scheme... good loosk on thefeed not much i cud say u pretty much elevated nice peace keep it up nigga 1
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yo this was nice i would rather listen to it than read it im sure it will sound tight with some mobbdeep beat best line ''This aint a metaphor, i'll wet ya whore, physically with a shotgun'' loved that if you ever audio it send me a link
peace
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*returning feed*
nice drop. Multis are the main focus here. I feel structure coudl be switched up to help flow.but meh. you dropped some what solid on this.
Content is ok,had some deep parts in it then fell of in others. all round a nice solid peice.
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Logging out , uppin again.
Ive replied to loads of thread over the last few days a bit more feedback.
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yea son this piece was rippin. Wordplay, flow, style, was all good 9/10
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come on ive replied to mad threads this week and i aint had half the feed back, more feed motherfuckers.
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Pretty Good Man alot Of Potential Lots Of enthusiam you'll be there one day just keep on rhyming man..
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I liked the first verse more, but the second was solid. The flow changed a little bit, which would be good for an audio. The multis were placed well. The flow would be nice on audio. I don't understand why it was orginally closed either.
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Ive had 134 people view this piece but ive only had about 11 replies the rest have been me uppin the piece. My shit gets slept on big time.
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the rhyming you had going on with the multies and internals and all that shit was off the hook, but to be honest, this piece didnt really keep my attention. maybe its because i just got out of 4 hours of class, but who knows. still the piece was well written, just not exactly my steeze. keep the pieces on drop though.
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Thanks for the feed im writing some new shit tonight so i'll post it up 2moro or the day after until then might as well keep uppin this.
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i thougth this had quite alot of good qualities, you did use your multis well, but i thought you used them in a way that knocked the flow, some places didnt seem to flow off the tongue so easy as they could have, you said mine was lacking in the flow, but it came off the tongue better than this did, granted it didnt have an many multis, but the wording fit better in my eyes... asides from that tight drop, good read
keep hitting mine and ill do the same.... see ya
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good verse dude i really felt that flow, ok structure too good job
