The Metamorphosis of a Rose - SpokenO and K.

K - Middle Verse
Spoken - 1st and 3rd


I used to ask people the question of life
Until the matter of fact shattered the plight
A knife jolt to the humboldt in the rise
Of an anti-christ poetic in form and size
Reside in the blossom of blooming flower
Consuming hours in transition to valour
And veritas isn’t symbolic; for the future
Grasps the roots in the widened cracks of pewter
Prized in manure for the dismal plant
Where thorns are lanate in humanly stance
Precious elixir of life; leafed diamond
Chose over the tropical shores of islands
For a morgue of water, encapsulated asylum

A mortal child, beguiled with each unconscious breath
Rose from the concrete living for her subconscious death
Left for adoption the insensitive option from human
An innocent figure till she’s delivered maturity acumen
Live for the moment until realism offers a hollow subsidence
When it happens she’ll regret she didn’t follow her guidance
Put hence on the blame, try to reframe from labeling her mistakes
The world’s misery flows in lakes..
Innocent takes magnetic form and attaches to aches
Flakes of her pureness escape, as she grows more mature
If you haven’t a focus in life, your outcome becomes obscure
To secure her spot as a teen ‘cause her childhood is finished
She must betray her frame work, to portray her image
As the infant grows older, with her life now self managed
Roots are formed from her stem, and concrete is damaged
Her elder life is a test, no rest for her mental fitness
How can she make a difference if one has never been witnessed?
And what’s sick is her years have been exposed to slaughter
The rose can’t point to the sun if it is starved from water
A lonely daughter, this rose has been subjected to thorns
Her existence torn, we can mourn..
..as earth is no fit place to be born.

A diety of beautiful music encased
In a fate solidified by it’s glass vase
Raped of it’s natural into a gradual decline
Inclined to soon wither in winter’s time
Bitter wine draped onto it’s love lost in toil
Rainbows shrunk into the horizon for April soil
Seraphs’ lyres shook Elysium into ruins
While a child’s cry was left in contempt of humans
Left aside for the pesticide, chemicals, and darkness
Stilled in the tarnish of Mother Earth’s black carcass
Soon all was gone in dawn’s melancholy light;
White drapes caped the day’s survival at night
And a brittle torn rose answered my question of life

#1.
#2.

This has come out dope.....nice collab my man.

Sorry this is going to be kinda brief... Personal issues.

Spoken - You wrote very well here. Great vocabulary and writing quality, I enjoyed your piece. Just to point out though valour doesn't rhyme with flower. Some parts seemed slightly forced, however, overlooking that it was very good.

K - This was very good... You're right this is some of the best writing you've ever done. I enjoyed it... The vocabulary, imagery and metaphors all added to it, resulting in quite a complex piece. The approach was good too...

Overall, very nice collab guys. Keep it up... Spoken if you could leave feed on "Out of Ammunition" in my sig I'd appreciate it, K already left some.

Peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Deviate

Just to point out though valour doesn't rhyme with flower.

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its prounonced Val-or... so actually, yes it does.

but anyway,

Spoken - pretty much as Deviate said, i liked a lot of your stuff, as always... You had a really good all around verse, solid would be a good descriptive word. The vocab, as always... amazing, that is always my favorite part, to see what words you can make work and how they all just flow to a rythm.. its great, good job.

K - You had a really good verse too, i need to head myself over to Train Tracks, i enjoyed reading yours just as much... I liked the vocab, and the concept... You also had a really good and solid verse.. i think this collab turned out way well... but what would we expect? HUH!?!??

Good job to the both of you, i really enjoyed reading.

Up.

word thank you.

Spoken...good 2 verses...I liked your 2nd a bit better....vocab was strong but not too wordy...your words were put together very smoothly I thought....imagry and emotion were present, but not as strong as ive grown accustomed to with works by you...no worries tho...still a very good piece

K.....also a nice verse...i thought imagry was your strongpoint...your rhyming was very well done also.....read very smoothly....a nice drop by you yet again


please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199395

Great topic and smooth collab between the two of you which stayed on topic. K's verse was filled with strong vocab and great imagery:

As the infant grows older, with her life now self managed
Roots are formed from her stem, and concrete is damaged

^^beautiful, great work man. I liked the way Spoken kind of tied his 2 verses together as well, some real philsophical stuff going on in this one.

Keep on posting. if one of you could rep my newest piece "a criminal's argument" i'd appricaite the feedback.

Nice collab, I must say. Both verses seem to be rather diverse but seemed to follow the same blueprint. I like the way it was structured with K's verse being surrounded by Spokens stanza's, worked well...and the subject content spoke lengths too...I liked it.

And I see Spoken's becoming more wordier than me...haha ;)

thank all.

up for me and spoken yo!

worded real good it all flows perfect good verses and concept I like it all

thank you

nice job

yeah.

Up.

Pretty good read here. Both of you guys played everything well. The flow was pretty much flawless, It didn't send me off in the wrong direction one bit. The wordplay and vocab was probably the strong point in here, which is really good. Everything else, I'm sure everyone said it already. Nice Drop. peace.

Good stuff. I read this already a while ago, but didn't comment. I liked Spoken's abstractyness, for want of a better word. Good rhyming, and K's part bridged the piece nicely. Your writing gelled quite well actually, although, as said already, they were very different styles. Very good read, both of you.

thanks jek

last up yo.