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When The Sky Falls
When the Sky Fell i was in captivity,limited memory
infinite similies,and my mind confines my sensorys
this small cell,thats littered with filth and desolation
were built for seperation,while i wilt with hesitation
never paitent,the news displays senseless violence
my vocals never mention silence,consent my guidance
tha way tha skys fallin isnt the way we anticipated
when our race is faced with death were this creative
peace is a neccesity,no complexity in life effectivly
these rhymes directin me,suspect but not arrestin me
clouds shroud tha sky like a crowd of dark figures
lightnin swells,excitin my cells,bright as hell,but bigger
these flames released from beneath my feet prints
complete with crease thatll cease to defeat scents
no sulfuric wave,tha purest blade as hes curin graves
devils rise,embezzleds rebels pride,to ensure its place
there in the book of life but gods not givin assistance
ashamed of what we become our demise still is persistent
so the day the sky fell we all must have remembered
if it wasnt wiped from our memory and recollections disembered.
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When the Sky Fell i was in captivity,limited memory
infinite similies,and my mind confines my sensorys
was the best part liked it better than your last this had much better flow my head was boucnin like marisupalpouches lol
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dawg u did ur thing on this for real vocab nice, structure perfect, and just a really dope peice......... keep droppin...
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Keep It Going Man, That Was a Straight Real Piece.
-Vocabulary, Flow, Structure, Basically It Was All Good.
I Like The Opening Line, Holla, Keep Doing Ya'Thang Boy.
Peace
-1Love, 1God-
-Divine MC-
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the imagery in this was brilliant. i don't know why you used such a large font size, but other than that, this was a real nice read man. especially with the mature vocab, nyce flow, real smooth in my opinion. but once again, the description of your words was the strongest part in your piece. this was a good read, unique topic also. keep it up man.
plz return some feedback on this piece.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=220503
thanks man.
peACE
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thanks for tha feed back...up.
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I really liked readin diz piece. Nice imagery n real good structre. Nice flow n errything. Shit was dope. Keep em comin. 1
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nice piece yo had some complex vocabulary going, and some home truths to boot
shit time out pz
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"When the Sky Fell i was in captivity,limited memory
infinite similies,and my mind confines my sensorys"
(Nice Line)
shit had a consistant flow, with some well placed multis, and stayed on topic like a pro
goo pimpin, pimpin.
REAL NICE PIECE
7.2/10
HOLLA BACk
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7.2..lmfao..thnks though..up.
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7.2.... hardly a score. this is above that. the flow and multis kill your eyes as you read. This was DYNOMITE!! Good job keep droppin. .Reign.
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multies are also kider sick
and the internal rhyming was on point like a mofuka..
this piece packs deepness
it apperars like a tombstone for the earth
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there is not really much you can say bad about dis piece, I can't think of anything actually...the flow, vocab., superb and the topic was original...I like pieces like these...ones that make you really think...creativity was very much evident and the message was great...
Look out for my 3 part OM...comin sooner than you think
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great imagery, very poetic, your use of mutlis is good and at the same time its very punctual, at times the complexity drives away from importance communication, but it doesn't take away from the peice, it jus depends on what the extent of the readers vocab and comprehension is . . . good work, keep up, -1-
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Nice piece right here...
The title for one drew my attention and the topic you used was interesting, had a sort of dark yet truthful feel over it you know. The vocab was excellent, you had a nice level of complexity but did not overdo it though. The flow was impeccable, internals blended in so easily, everything was very smooth and the whole piece has a good rhythm to it. The imagery was amazing, I could picture everything happening as if I was in the middle of it all and you managed to combine it with strong emotion!
Keep it up...
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that's was tight man. nice multis and shit peep the rest of my OM's
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whoa homie...............Dope piece in my opinion, loved the whole thing about this piece, the vocab was real nice..not simple but not too brainy either. the structure was easily readable and the rhyme was smooth, rolled off my tongue when i was readin it. overall this was a dope drop and really hope to read more. Thnx for the feedabck on my drop too. keep flowin
Be EaZy
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couple more replys on this peice
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that shit was nice, had alot of emotion...you can just let ure imagination run wit this piece...so many different ways to play it off in ure head good shit.
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damn homie...this was a ill drop...errythang was nice about it...imagery..vocab...EVERYTHANG!
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scrolling down this page i just realised how incredibly long your sig is lol...this piece was tight, held up and supported by flow and a range of vocabulary. Beautiful picture painting, a nice short but effective little piece that was packed with the sort of origional stuff i like to read.
peace homie.
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This piece was solid mang, i was feeling your imagery, and this topic is played....but you pulled out the story nicely. Good job on that homeskillet biscuit. Just keep dropping, and staying active and you'll get better ;D
Pz. and thanks
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Very well written...had great imagery and emotion (probably your highest points in the piece), good use of vocab throughout, and i liked your rhyme scheme on this..my fav bars:
"When the Sky Fell i was in captivity,limited memory
infinite similies,and my mind confines my sensorys"
&
"clouds shroud tha sky like a crowd of dark figures
lightnin swells,excitin my cells,bright as hell,but bigger"
imo i can't see a single flaw in this piece...great work...ima nominate this piece for HoF..peace..
