Fuck it! Fuck it All

Lee Mann
Hes been Misjudged, Hes been Misused, household drugs he decides to abuse
have him confused, breaking out with emotional scars and bruised
he can't keep his cool he yearns to see brain ooze, damn how he drools
over the thought of being cruel, grab a knife and stab his dad
for denying him love, all he can talk about is what he doesn't have
and dream of torturing half the ones who luagh, at the way hes dressed
what do they know he wears his best the elite of what is possessed
ragged jeans, leather jacket, a wrinkled T-shirt and hat cocked to the left
a look that says you dare mess with me thats you ass, handing out sass
he can't think about school he can barley pass at the bottom of his class
he figures hes got bigger worries wishes he could hurry up and drop out
then the words come out of his mouth, first in a half whisper half shout

the knife in his hand hes tired of feeling small so fuck it! fuck it all

Mary Gates

Shes so damn tired of being left out
so to get in she lost her virginity on a couch
nothing special or romantic like she hoped
done quick while her mom was hitting dope
stuck in a downward slope
bound and gagged by a rope
hopeless and hoping for a note
of kid ness she chokes; inn her throat
the words that be spoken
her Vow to god had been broken
she would have a baby boy as a reminder;a Token
another slap to the face
her mother calls her a disgrace
and that she'd end up like her
with a painful past impossible to erase
Mary was thrown out and wasn't tooken in again
until she was found uncle phil and aunt lynn
real kind hearted people
phil was comitting sin of the skin
marys locked door was broke in
on the floor she was pinned
her head began to spin
moaning silently like a broken violin
it happened every time he was drunk off vodka had gin
her reality began to bend
she couldn't comprehend
the extent of her wounds but she knew nothing could mend
life with out a friend

so she found phil's gun two stains of blood were on the wall

Mary said fuck it!Fuck it all

Amar Rahim

He hates these racist bastards ever since nine eleven
hes met Allah visited the heights hell and the depths of heaven
The ransacked his fathers store raped his mom like she was a whore
Busted down the the door and sent both his grandparents to the morge
forged together a hate sp deep within him he can't escape
made himself a human bomb with some illegal explosives and a roll of duck tape
Went to school the next day and he knew it was well worth the risk
blow himself and 20 others up that showed him who was a terrorist

He heard hatred call and he answered back with fuck it! fuck it all

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325511
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325777

This was a potentially dope piece, to start it off the title begged read me lol at first I though this was going to be some rant about rb or some ish, but turned out to be piece of literature, well like I said before this was a potentially dope piece, you came off strong with "Lee Mann", yet I seen a few grammatical errors, but nothing worth mentioning, but as the piece went on I started to notice the piece started to go down hill poetically, your wording began to get worsen especially in your last piece and the second part of the piece was cliché for the most part, this was dope topic and Idea it just wasn't executed well, imagery was alright and emotion was nice couldn't get enough of it you just didn't set the atmosphere that I was hoping for, but overall 7/10, you lost points due to lack of organization.

Damn homie...This I did not like at all, this one of your weakest pieces sorry to say, you had a real creative way to come at the topic but failed to tell the story in a creative and intresting matter. Your flow seemed forced at times, with : 'Shes so damn tired of being left out so to get in she lost her virginity on a couch' That just seemed like you forced it to rhyme, The first 2 verse's I didn't like at all and really didn't wanna keep reading...the third verse was predticable but yet some what creative with the way you told it, pretty weak homie, Hope to see better work from you soon.

muhuhhaha

Yeah thios was a good piece I uess.You could have done a lot more with it.You have a lot of potential as a writer and I would advise to all people to keep an eye out for you.I'd say clean you structure up a bit.Was a bit sloppy in plases and just doesn't look good.That my opinion now.Be a lil bit more creative but you seem to be gttin the jist of it.Loved a few lines in there.Keep it up my man

up nigga up nigga up up up nigga

pretty good peice . structure was pretty good. could have been better. good flow throughout. topic was interesting...not so creative though. good rhymes here and there. alright multies. vocab was alright as well could have been better. this could have been much better but to me it was just pretty good.

He hates these racist bastards ever since nine eleven
hes met Allah visited the heights hell and the depths of heaven
The ransacked his fathers store raped his mom like she was a whore
Busted down the the door and sent both his grandparents to the morge
forged together a hate sp deep within him he can't escape
made himself a human bomb with some illegal explosives and a roll of duck tape
Went to school the next day and he knew it was well worth the risk
blow himself and 20 others up that showed him who was a terrorist

^^^This whole part was dope. It was starting to get me fired up again about 9/11 just reading this piece. I like the story telling aspect that you bring as well. Very dope!

yup up