Les Miserables/Society Exploited

Les Miserables/Society Exploited

Truth
My dreams were gone--when a pimp ran away with my mom
was forced to work odd jobs selling product for modern day dons
trying to blow up- like bombs-over the babies of Baghdad
so sad when you’re just another statistic no money no job--no dad
yeah right-I bet your crying right now- bout the lost blacks
like slaves who died seeing America & threw into the ocean in sacks
repetitive traits of a country - legislative muscle flexing equals oppression
the depression-cultural recession-leaves our spirits lessened
& it doesn't matter because our uprising is out of history books forever
so clever-promise them a future always-but make good on it-never
until we severe some ones head from their neck
and we end up in a cell like they came to expect

Baron
I’m a doctor at panning predators with big bans
Like banning creditors--only to burn--debtor’s lands
if I do a handstand will I get a grand--of paper
99.9% of them are laced--with coke dirty rape-r
Stuttering later—selling condoms for an oral caper
Mixing dough with pure powder- it’s a real cake-uh
What about lil Lucy living a lamb- in a laboratory
A troubled—story—like a knight slain by his armory
Why God Why God Why God—said it 3 times ya see
Only voice I heard was pac saying, “Bury me a G”
So I’ll bury the toy soldier—in a clean casket
Lived a plastic—life and died—by a drastic-knife
Never cried—poured flowery water—over his grave
Was devastated—life’s fragile—like an old man’s fuck
Rising too fast—back breaks—like a flimsy iced tux

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322683
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323034

Dope collab....this was a very deep piece..in relation to the topic and the take...Truth I like how you incorporated the signs of changing times displaying lots of views from everyday life to slavery...dopeness...

Baron...you always bring this type of feel to an OM collab...in which you carry the piece over the top...with your wording....imagery...and multis....and seemingly changing rhymescheme....overall this was a good read...a very good read...though not the best I've seen from the both of you.....


pls...RTF...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...33#post5426733

baron you ain't have to get the links

Alright..

Baron had the better wordplay and Emotion. To where Truth had better flow. I felt that you both did an alright job here, not as great with the topic as I thought would come. But hey, maybe you'll impress me later on. Baron I know you can drop better then that, so pelase do it. Truth your elevating slowly, but your getting there. Keep it up.

~belli.

omg up

I left feedback, be happy that I did it, what you want me to lie and say I loved the peice? Any ways, get our collab up dude.

no i was saying omg at the sleeping of it when we got collab of the week dude

Oh lol, my bad.

upp

uping

ups again

Cant drop amazing feed but ill drop some...this was a decent piece both had good wordplay and emotion, and the flow wasnt to shabby. Imagery was aiight and it read pretty easy na mean...Overall a decent piece stay up guys.

Okay the title was pretty original, but thisw is hopw I feel about this alright fam........

Baron - You had a nice story line wordplay multi's and meta's were all they're you held it down on this one, you came with the traditional rhyme scheme and your verse was real you talked about street ish instead of talking about someother honky dory bullshit and I respect that alot, although your verse wasn't really that complex you kept me reading and interested in what you had typed, your flow was pretty consistant except in the first 2/3 stanza's it was kinda shaky to me, but you brought it up and beyond par on the way out, good shit, 8/10.

Truth - Your stry line was better than barons it actually had alot more emotion, because it was alot more realistic and relatable, your piece of the piece wasn't really complex at all yet it had good imagery, yet it wasn't enough to make me wan't to read through the whole thing, it just wasn't that appealing to me you choice of words were predictable and cliche, yet it also aided your poem, if you were to staep out the box with the vocabulary this would have been more effective, your choice of words weren't organised enough for me, but all i all this was an okay piece although you've could've came doper. 7/10

Both you've both came with the originality although you both had your ups and downs this piece deffently had the emotion and imagery down pack and with your simple and realness take on this topic and the fact that alot of people could relate to this piece it deffently brough out the atmosphere you were tring to project through out this piece.
you've both held your ground and I think everybody and RB can agree that that is the most important aspect of collabing balancing eachother out.

please hit my links in sig both please honestly.