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Thread: My Memories

  1. #1
    Soule
    Guest

    My Memories

    This is a story, about a few boys and girls ..
    .. each grew up a sad life inside a sadder world

    Zach
    Born in a broken family, dad was a lord with felonies
    Mother was a whore that was always selling weed
    School was hard on him, kids loved scaring him
    "Look at Zack, you would never see him with them"
    At nine, cocain came into his life, its how he'd survive
    A young age wasted on the addictions we deprive
    Later on through life, his heart skipped a beat ..
    That beat was never found; so Zach I have 3 words ..
    .. rest in peace

    Travis
    Travis was a friend of mine, it was his birthday; his 21st
    Going from a couple of drinks to something much worse
    Him and Kenny were drunk that night; haveing some fun
    When Kenny decided to whip out his most favorite gun
    Like I said, it was Travis' birthday; his fucking 21st
    Kenny just sat there thinking you to *Fake* shoot first
    "Hey Kenny don't aim that shit at me dude, its not safe*
    *Come one Traivis man, fucking learn to be brave*
    And sure enough, Travis was shot in the head
    And I will never see his smile, rest in peace my friend.

    Danica
    A woman of natural problems, pregnent at 12
    The father was a drunk janitor; the devil of her hell
    Her mother couldnt afford any type of adopion
    And being Christians, abortion wasnt an option
    Her mother made her leave the house, one bag of clothes
    At 13 she joined all of the other women known as hoes
    She spent 10 years, living that horrible life style
    Death was the final chapter of her sad denile.

    Krista
    My ex love, a woman I cared very much about
    A few moments started in hugs and ending in a shout
    But we were pretty fucking perfect, until she left me
    For a fat kid thats four hundred pounds named Jeffery
    She's gone now, I'll remember her forever and always
    No, shes not dead just in nother place; a bit daised
    I'll find another woman, oh wait I already have
    Though Krista is stuck with her sister and drunk dad.

    These were true stories about real life people
    Who's lives were corupted and later on feeble.
    Last edited by Soule; January 10th, 2007 at 09:02 PM

  2. #2
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    Last edited by Soule; January 10th, 2007 at 09:09 PM

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Mabus's Avatar
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    Re: My Memories

    yo i was feelin the whole shit every word of it
    rhymes were simple but this wasnt about the rhymes it was just from the heart thats killer and i wish more artists did that stay up
    peace
    Rappers Never Die
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  4. #4
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    Thanks, by the way these were true stories.

  5. #5
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: My Memories

    it is so obvious that you have improved alot since the last time i read from you you came with a look at the life of kids that aren't perfect a loo at the story they don't tell you and thats dope

    if you can check this out
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323096

    AI

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  6. #6
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    Done.

  7. #7
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    upps

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: My Memories

    good shit, straight structure how u told about everyone, stay up 8/10

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  9. #9
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    thnx, upps.

  10. #10
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    ups.

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: My Memories

    a sad coincidence
    the flow was cool and topical was very relevant
    and the dieing of each person was a good ending of each stanza
    a scary concept but very real
    im sure alot of emotion was put into this
    stay up
    Open Mic



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    "Steadly Deciding...Thoughts Sowing Deadly weather
    I rip verses apart,Yet my flows pulls them together"

  12. #12
    You are the selfish one! CrosT Over's Avatar
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    Re: My Memories

    I Think This Is Probably One Of The Most Indepth Pieces I Have Rear From You...i Think Your Emotion And Capability Of Expressing To The Reader Exactly How To Feal For The Subjects Is Right On Point, However That Being Said I Think The Complexity Of This Ryhme Could Have Been Upped Using Some More Imagery And Also Acquirig A Bit Depper English...overall Good Write
    I EMBRACED THE DARK SIDE WHEN YOU STOLE MY SON

  13. #13
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    Thnks.

  14. #14
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    Upping.

  15. #15
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: My Memories

    I swear to god. Rise!

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