The Cabin:"Melodic Wolfcries"

-Blessed trails as the hunters' dwell in 35 degrees below 0 fahrenheit-

Winter's wretchedness withers warmth of weathers South hither
with no remorse nor course to deliver, cold tundras rendered
by the slightest of shivers- Not to be forgotten, only to be
remembered by nature's offspring with bitterness. The wilderness
weeps with melancholy, so sweet a song sung. Masses of game
passes untamed but remains hunted with long bow guns.Afterwards
the Hunters tend to their cabin retreat- observing fiery hues with
booze expressing blasphemic views. The wolves melodic cry- similar
to the sound of torn tunes. Nature erupts with hateful light through
vengeful sight, growing more ravenous with each casualties count
within a sinful night. As they acquaint themselves to a drunken state,
they see their fate within nature's forsake, awaiting its wake. Dull
glooms cast full moons immensely, through scornful symphonies,
whose faction attacks instantly with no signs of evident empathy,
simply- As nature rapes and penetrates the cabin, the Hunters are
left with a chilled countenance far colder than any winter in antartica.
They split bilateral as the wolves tear at the tender flesh to the
clavical of the saddened foe. Sweet sorrows arise along with the
bloody entrails of the unwise as nature inherits a Hunters debt.
Spirits emerge from the gory cabin with evanescence to restore fallen
game and peace at least until the next cabin's reign. Exiting with
swift speed, the wolves return to their cubs- their mouths blood ridden
with revenge. They howl under the moon's embrace encased with the
cold of the wintery night-
As they cry melodically....

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315642
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315105

bump

A very vivid and beatiful piece if i may say so...thought it wouldn't be as great whilst reading the title but the way you wrote it really gets the reader into it. Plus the reader had to read everyline to stick with the rhymescheme. Your technical side, for me, was full covered and i really liked the correct grammar in this, once again showing your skill as a writer. Your vocabulary was elevated and your imagery, especially the description was very very good. Each aspect shone out. I thought your plot and story were good to but would like to see you write up something more exciting or riddled with hidden meanings and abstract metaphors...overall, i reckon you can tell by now that i liked it lol..Stay up & g/l in SS.

Topical champ battle, an HONEST vote would be appreciated.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315358

good piece. i believe this is the first i've read from you. the flow was quite nice, as well as the vocabulary. imagery was strong, and you never frayed from the story and hopped around too much. only thing i think could be more involved, was the emotion and the realness of the piece, something about this seemed to surreal, didn't capture me you know with authenticity. but don't worry, thats the hardest thing to touch on, nonetheless, good piece, return the favor on a piece of mine.

peACE

thanks for feed i will mof def rtf later.....bump.

yes, this piece was well thought out, very good rhymescheme...from reading the first few lines i became very interested in tha topic, tha name wasn't as appealin but when i began to read it tha approach you took and tha direction of it made me wanna continue readin....nice concept aswell, it was a very calming read....just needed a little more emotional value and it would have been alot better, but overall it was worth looking at :2thumb:

This was a very good piece, except I didnt like the way it was layed out, it confused me lol :D

But never-the-less, this piece was great, it had nice vocabulary, steady and smooth flow, and a well balanced structure :)

Congratulations on another successful piece Ill, I'm looking forward to seeing the pieces you post in the near future :D

RTF on "Through Whispering Words"

bumpity bump