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Da Struggle
Undermining my success, because you know what’s best?
What’s best for me, doesn’t even coincide with the rest
Selling dimes to the kids, kickin it barely by the block
I got handles like Steve Nash, tryin pass the rock
Stash my stash away and never try to take me back
Man I’m thinking of lines, I aint even talking about a rap
Dollar bills, straws and mirrors is all that I need
Man I gotta push weight; I got kids to feed
influences in my life, purple haze and blow
Now the prince of the UK. so I’ll tell you when to go
Yo I’m askin’ for help cause the glove wont even fit it
I’m a lier kill ya family and tell ya we don know who did it
there aint no feigns to relieve this need to succeed
if only to release the disease that completes this read
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=306002
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305932
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uppin some feedback on thsi plz
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Dude this was aiight and thats it....You need to elevate a lil homie, i mean yeh it flows and stuff but your vocab and rhymescheme isn't the best so if you work on those specific places you will get better. Keep up.
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thanks for the feedback man
uppin
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it started out pretty good, i liked the lines up to the mirrors and bills. The rest flowed, but the rhymes were pretty basic. either way, good drop, n keep elevating
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ok man thanks for the feedback its appreciated
yo uppin some more feedback
peace
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pretty good....kinda basic and simple na mean....rhyming blow with go..just doesnt do it really...but i do it to so not much i can say....you had good flow with some multies...strutre was pretty steady..i could read it easy...pretty good for a new comer nice to see guys aint using slashes and shit...keep up and start elevatiing...feed on my drop wouldnt be sucha bad thing lol
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ok thanks for the feedback man
peace
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This was an aight piece. I felt the vibe and flow and your effor to make it a good read was aight. Though you need to make your pieces a lil longer and also try and incorporate proper imagery, such as description, metaphors, similies or personification. Your in the UK and 15 year old so your bound to have or be learning these techniques. Stay up.
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ok thanks man for the feeback
peace
