~Society~

I ledge a settlement- of affilliation
An agreement that hit- the whole nation
It took it's time- of investigation
But for all the waiting- I stayed patient
In the making- minds stayed shaking
breaking barriers- government issues
Law and order corrupt- politicians hating
Tax dues went up- war broke loose
People lost hope of the- societys truth
Youth capsized- forensic went override
Humanity lost pride- and pushed law aside
Eyes open wide- bank rolls manified
Guilty as charged- sentenced- cresified
All I could sence- was pain and agony
Hospitals failed- it became a tradgoy
It had to be- casulty- people an insanity
Casually- walking streets- beefing meat
People decessed- the heat- felt defeat
Voloence took over how we meet an greet
Hear the truth an how it keeps you in your seat


Links;-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290140
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290131

This was real...meh..

The structure was interesting, seemed thought out, but it's not just about structure...it's also about what is in the structure...first off, I spotted some spelling mistakes...next time try running your verse through Microsoft word or something..

You had a decent topic, but I've seen been pulled off more smoothly...you had a good flow, although it was somewhat choppy..you're rhyme scheme was ok, but I'd suggest working on more internals..

It started out well, but it seemed as if you got lazy towards the end...

stay consistent.

it was ok, I see potential....

Like Ur Flow But It Was A Lil Choppy........i Was Diggin Ur Style Tho..try To Work On Ur Structure And U'l Pull It Of Homie.....i Def See Potential In U Yo

Holla Back Fam

Thanx yo ... yeah maybe more time should have been spent on it
But the audio may come across diffrent once I have recored it safe