User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: "Beyond The Dumpster"

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Strong Island
    Posts
    33

    "Beyond The Dumpster"

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290122

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post4397744

    homeless...

    Duzt

    If i had one shot at a normal life itd be off tha rim juss missed tha shit...
    If god exsists then his loves inconspicuos...
    how would you feel if people shoved and hit you with...
    metal pipes, sticks, they spit and dont live above tha influence...
    obviously i made some stupid moves, got busted I'm not that smart...
    went from a benz wit rims ta dented tin a trusty rusted shopping cart...
    the mix of cardboard and concrete permanetly hurt my spine...
    such a wonderful society but i aint worth their time...
    everdayday head ta toe im filled wit dirt & grime...
    couldnt catch a buzz even if i chugged turpentine...
    but ya wanna know what really bugs me and disturbs my mind?...
    YOU EVA HEAR OF NUT CHEESE? well my entire shits submerged in slime!...
    Sometimes i wish life was a race and i could plot tha course...
    Id make it off a cliff go full speed and lock tha doors...
    the scent of stale shit and piss makes me smell like a rotting corpse...
    i wish i owned a wallet so i didnt have ta pick pocket yours!...
    i lack a conscience now, ill go and break in ur apartment...
    after smokin crack and look for scraps in tha garbage...
    bug tha fuck out and take a CRAP ON YA CARPET!...
    even if i got a job interview i wouldnt make the appointment...
    u think its annoyin...that this city reeks cuz i use tha streets for my toilet!?...
    parents walk on the other side of the street to let me know im sickening...
    like i dont know this already like i wasnt listening...
    to their disgusted whispering...
    my lights aren't out up stairs their juss flickering!...
    im a disgrace ta life there is no light its juss comprised of darkness...
    i despise my carcuss...
    i wish i was dead but SURPRISE im still Alive wit Carnage...
    in all honesty its way too late to progress my sobriety...
    no help from congress im juss a low life in society...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Knoxville, Tennessee.
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,350
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Awards WOP Champion
    I liked this a lot, man, very well written and I could feel the flow of it and the well versed punchlines. Very strong stuff, high above many other pieces I read on this board at least as far as rhyme style. A lot of people won't even see it... pity.

    9/10

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  3. #3
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Strong Island
    Posts
    33
    ^^thanx

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Strong Island
    Posts
    33
    uppin this shit

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! xPunisheRx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Uk
    Age
    40
    Posts
    189
    Battle Record
    0-3
    yeah i agree flow was spot on, bit basic but the multis and delivery was
    the thing that caught my attention and drew me back to carry on reading
    The only think I would say about this is unless you tell us what beat its too
    I find it hard to follow your speed, coz some bars seem readlly streashed an
    others really short- which dont always leave up to much.

    Great to have a good read thou thanx pz

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    My tongue tackled many men with my skill
    Who'd of thought my tongue was ready to kill
    You better lay still- its hunting a meal
    Leaving bodys in ice rack its it nature to chill
    Leaving you top E "so maybe" ya'l die by ta pill
    So many victums the piles got as big as a hill
    ...Punisher...

  6. #6
    The Beat Of Philly QaaHolic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    South Philly
    Age
    33
    Posts
    439
    Battle Record
    2-5
    flow was crazy style was nice but a little basic
    Wicked Wicked Wicked


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  7. #7
    ~SaDe~
    Guest
    hot shit.
    flow with this was cool
    i thought when i read this i was going to be reading some ol' goofy ass cartoon type shit 4 some reason but this was str8 you still need to elevate some more i enjoyed teh shit doe aint much to say boutt his tho cuz it was str8 to me..


    but ya wanna know what really bugs me and disturbs my mind?...
    YOU EVA HEAR OF NUT CHEESE? well my entire shits submerged in slime!...

    ^^^ that right tehre was some funny shit doe i liked that part you came creative with this shit honestly so stay up and keep droppin the hotness

  8. #8
    Paradoxymoron Nib Oswald's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    38
    Posts
    682
    Battle Record
    0-1
    Meh theme, but you have a good grasp of flow and multi rhyming. Above the mass, man. Above the mass.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    IJL: Because 'NAMBLA' was already taken.

  9. #9
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Strong Island
    Posts
    33
    thanx for the replies

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 8
    Last Post: November 14th, 2005, 01:17 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 7th, 2004, 05:38 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •