Evil Truth..1st OM.... Introduce Me To HOF

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...22#post2279622
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...72#post2279672


Evil Comes In Many Ways, .....
Sometimes Inflicted From Each Other...To Cover Insecure Traits
'Sour Grapes'....Sometimes Feeds Evil....
Erryone Has Once 'Squinted There Eyes' ..Were Consciously Feeble
Emotionally Unable...To Keep Control
Its Dog Eat Dog.....And Revenge Is Best Served Cold
No Remorse Involved.... But Why Must This Be Tha Way It Has To Unfold
It Goes Untold....Tha Devil Is Not Unrighteous
Keeps Tha Evil Away From Tha Good... How Is He Vicious
Wickedness Sends Us To His Soulless Chambers
Life’s Full Of Restriction Through Fear Of Heavenly Rejection...Having To Face Hells Ambers
But I Remember.. There’s Always A Second Chance
Life Not Fair? It Is.. Just Looks That Way At Tha 1st Glance
We Overcome With Intelligence... As We Do With Fear


Fear Is All In Tha Mind. Is It Really There?
Evil Creates Tha Fear Factor .. But Are We Really Scared?
Heart Racing Shaking And Sweat. Our Own Creations
Prevention Of Letting Humans Forward…Just In case Someone Tries An Invasion
Depression…From Something That Dosnt Exist
Fear Is Tha Greatest Enemy. It Even Conquers Tha Greatest Optimists
In A Twist…Now Think And Answer This...
Is Fear Here To Scare Or Thrill…
Have We Misunderstood Its Purpose…
Damn To Complicated...And Ive Onli Scratched Tha Surface

Rushed Ending Sorry......Feedback Will BeReturned Just Leve Links

yea man its kind of deep but good job homie just work more on flow and structure and ull be tight aight. also u had some catchy lines but really didnt have that much of a delivery work on approach so u can see how ur rhymes get way better aight good job! overall verse rate 5.0/10

You had some alright ideas. At certain points you played with cliches, which is ok, but put more focus on your own concepts. You did this with some lines by being descriptive. The structure could be better. Work on fillin the shorter lines with content to have it flow better.
Return the feedback on "Mentally Wealthy" in my sig.

thnx...up

This was tight, you got deep on the concept i thought you was saying it raw you wasnt trying to be corny which always helps with a piece like this.
Your vocab helped this piece a lot you actually used it in the right way you wasnt just using big words just for the sake of it.
The structure could be woeked on a liitle bit the flow was average but i think your vocab and imagery made the verse stand out.

Return the favour:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185131

Feed Plz.....................................

This was cool. you had some dope emotion in there, but now try and work on your flow. add some inner rhymes, and youll be golden.

this was good but I agree you need 2 work on your flow

ideas and such were really nice guy.
i enjoyed reading this, it was written alright.
Flow was off due to bar structure but it was still a nice read.

if u for some reason cannot finish your peice, i wouldnt rush it just to get feedback cuz you wont get any better.

1

not really a hall of fame... keep at it ;)... structure wasent really great... you had good ideas but make your work a little neater... check out legendary emcee for structure... its pretty strait... not bad at all you had a good first drop... but theres plenty of room for elevation.... keep at it... nice work.

Thnx Much Appreciated....If Sum1 Could Giv Me Sum Tips On My Structure??......
Up We Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Err Up