Final Day To Live

Links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...90#post2173790
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...97#post2173797


Final Day To Live
Noticed Death Was Appearing,I Cried For Help
Noticed Many Human Beings Die For The Cry Of Help
Ran To My Daughter,Who Already Lossed Her Mother
And Told Her To Take Care Of Her Brother
Squashed The Beef With Those Who Envied Me
I Took Hale To My Room,Brought Back Memories
A Tear Slid Off Of My Image,Leaving My Daughter
Who's A Gift In This World,
Worth More Than Everything I Bought Her
Saw Photo Albums,I Gave Her A Look Of Enjoyment
With A Frown On Her Face,She Wouldnt Enjoy It
Got A Phone call From My Sons School,An Emerginse
That Was Urking Me,He'd Die Or Go Through Surgery
He Needed A New Heart,Or Death Would Be Knockin
I Gave Him Mine,From There The Rest Would Be Shockin

Uppin^^

This was decent but it was over just as i was getting into it.
There was a good concept something deep but i think you should of wrote a lot more on the topic then i think this could be a very dope piece.
The structure and vocab were fine you need to work on the flow.
The only thing i didnt like about this is that it was just to short.

Return the favour
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=177850

Iight I Will,i Like To Leave My Readers Hanging Like That,Lol,Part 2 Will Be Coming Soon.Uppin For More Replies

Who Da Fuck Wantz It

Dont Backdown And Battle Me

that was nice homie you should really rush that part two so cats could get the full version but it was nice cat

short verse but it was a deep verse good job was really enjoyin ur flow and everythin u know need to work just a little on vocab just a little and keep workin on that to make perfection aight very close overall verse rate 9.0/10