Emotion Was Straight,I Was Feeling Both Verses,You Both Came Equally Nice,Structures Nice,Ya'll Stayed On Topic And Flowed Well
Props
Emotion Was Straight,I Was Feeling Both Verses,You Both Came Equally Nice,Structures Nice,Ya'll Stayed On Topic And Flowed Well
Props
excellent...
exceptional diction , syntax, and use of literary techniques...demik's verse especially...
this is how you teach the children on this site what poetry looks like...
you're beyond needing technical critiques, so im just giving my opinion...
great job...both of you...
ill nominate this if it isn't yet
Bittersweet
It is, Luke nominated it already. I made him. Thanks for reading.
...
..I missed reading your pieces, Demik!
This was a good combination..
..You both were on the same level of understanding, yet your style was so very diffirent!
I'm doing the ' RB Magazine ' on Open Mic sometime soon..
..This will be mentioned!
ArcBiggEZ
Heavyweight Penis Crew
Dope.. wanna elaborate on that though?!
...
..On what?
ArcBiggEZ
Heavyweight Penis Crew
What you're writing about in the magazine nucca!
...
..You'll see when it's written!
It's possitive, don't worry.!
ArcBiggEZ
Heavyweight Penis Crew
I look forward to reading it.
...
Upping this.. last time I think.
Appreciate all the feedback on this
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yo tis shit was deep wit imaging like both pieces liked how it went both had good shit and all
for jek i liked
I loose myself in character - plots and subplots that move in stealth
I knew too well, that things would unravel this way, toward death
Destruction and panic set themselves, destined suicide’s a safe bet
Yet unpaid debt amounts, surmounts what’s feasible or logical
for nemik i liked
Find creation in sporadic inanimateness under the lit halogenous
& convert that palette of thoughts like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Into the main focus of my token expertise, bleed an expert thesis
exert reasons to oil the cogs and mind mechanics of my cerebrum
It's only part of the secretion from my grand scheme completion
that's ever seeping deep within the screens of you obsolete beings
aka Acidic
old record
67-23-45
new record
0-0-0
* Out of the shadows hardend penis, he appears *Appreciate all the feedback on this
ArcBiggEZ
Heavyweight Penis Crew
^LOL
was that really necessary?
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First verse was solid by all counts, the word choice here was just right. I got pictures forming in my head, so the imagery was there, this was above the bar compared to most OM now days. Great job on this verse, better than I would have imagined by the tittle, well done. Second verse I kind of had a few issues with the read, but that had nothing to do with the verse, it was me. Kind of tired and the strucutre you went with, kind of made me read it choppy, but after I adjusted myself, and looked deeper into the verse, I absolutley enjoyed this. I like the originality here, concept wise this was very good. Imust say that this waas better than most the OM's I read this month, honestly, it just was...
LMFAO at using that marry popins word in your rhyme scheme, shit cracked me up. I was like, damn where is this going now, what word will fit, I didn't see it coming...
Props to you guy's...
[YOUTUBE]Av7yOXafS40?hd=1[/YOUTUBE]
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