Warzone

Look into these eyes,
filled with hell and street homicide,
cats is just to crazy cant stop blazin up the nine,
everyday a different crime,
just to get a picture in my mind,
go ahead and cross the line,
no mo sunshine,
just try to touch my mic,
leave yall yall fingers black with frostbite,
battle my guns, yall faggets just be throwin knifes,
touchin one of mine,
yall just threating up yo life,
bad enough that shit is trief,
when the gun in youre grill, hands together lookin up at christ,
niggaz hate on me cuz they aint half as nice,
could give a fuck about the glammah and ice,
u know u gottah scroll this back and read it twice,
cover yo eyes cause its a warzone goin on outside.
I be crackin bones,
and crackin domes,
when I come to yo vision yall be runnin home,
talkin shit in groups but dont do shit alone,
leave u scarred up in the mind with nightmares of chrome.
have u lookin at yo own reflection,
listen up i got the message,
wit the skill that im blessed with,
im the best at this shit,
leaving yall brussed up and stitched,
this is personal cause its the way that i do buisseness.

Hit Me Up On Some Feedback,
Tell Me Wat U Think.


Checkone

Had some alright rhyming. Line length needs to be worked on. Its alright to switch up your flow, but there were stretched lines. You were descriptive in some spots. If you had planned out the topic more, and went into more detail, could have been a more complete piece.

agreed with kai, on this topic u shouldve been more descriptive, and u strayed a bit, so work on length and detail and itll be all good

I AGREE WIT THESE CATS, NOT MUCH MORE TO SAY,
"DIDDO"
YOU GOT THE CONCEPT OF WUTS TRYNA B DUNN, JUST WORK ON IT,
& U'LL GET 2 WHRRR U WANNA-B.

:shoot:KALIKOZE911:shoot:

rtrn da fav'r, f/b plz:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...46#post2124246

This was ok nothing really stood out to me and grabbed my attention.
The vocab was ok but you need to try and structure your rhymes better.
You need to improve your flow so the rhymes sound nice when you spit them.
There was a couple of decent lines in there but keep writing and the mores rhymes you write the more you will improve.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175058

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.