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Lost
My Links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...90#post2088390
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...96#post2088396
If any of you topical heads read this an want to extend it to make it better or suit your flow go ahead....this is open to feed....suggestions for improvement and extension from any ya'll that want to
Criminal acts cause you to go insane...
you run around in circles tryin to avoid any pain
You constantly hide from the cops to avoid conflict with law
how you did that is unknown...can't believe you did what you saw
It was you but in a different frame of mind...your Lost
in a mental collapse of paranoia with a great...painful cost
Try to live the rest of your life as lie...or on the downlow
cause if you go out into the street...your fucked and you know
Her parents are after you and will eventually track
with no remorce with what they do...watch your back
They want to beat you...kick you when your on the ground
leave you like you left her...an that is never to be found
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that shit was tight i dont think nothin wrong wit it you can spit
i really dont care for topical rap but yo shit is hot i give it :thumbup: :thumbup:
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thanks man.....i appreciate that shit
uppin for more feed on this...
suggestions
extensions whatever
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I thought thatit was a good piece and I think that you have elevated in alot and just stay hard at work and please leave feedback on my piece The Women Window.
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no doubt man i'll hit that up right now man......
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This was a decent short verse, the structure was good the vocab was ok but you need to work on your flow.
Try and switch it up so it doesnt get boring.
There was a good message in the rhymes but it was too short i think if you wrote a whole song on this topic it would be dope.
Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172018
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tight drop ,structure was good and tha vocab was poppin hot drop hit me bak
