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Its Winter
Its Winter
dark sky's...with chill's flowing into my spine
leaves falling and love is the only warmth in this heart of mine
every time i breath a cloud of steamy smoke uplifts
from my mouth with my cold tender lips......
trying not to get sick....40 degrees i mainly stay inside my hut
warm and comfortable with a fire going and my eyes shut
but...dreaming of hot summer days at the beach watching the sun setting
then i woke up under my blanket straight sweating
go out side,man its oftly cold
fingers numb like an elderly man feeling old
i got a headache as i look upon my snowy grass
rain starts to drip,then starts to poor really fast
at last i must admit i am not to fond of this weather
you must dress extremly warm instead of tank tops and leather
and try and avoid the flu....
which really there's absolutely nothing you can do
about it .....but to do your best to avoid the coldness
mainly the ages that suffer mostly is the people with oldness
but in a few months there is one positive thing
and thats the fact that things dry up...because its spring
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hmm.. just a little simple peice here, i liked it.. short, but none the less nice.. i enjoyed reading it, pretty good details, decent wording.. nice for a short peice right around the time of winter
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this was a cool simple short peice.
nothing too spectacular about.
some of the parts were forced
concept not played,
overall, it's a slightly above average peice.
Keep elevating, as always.
pZ
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This was a very nice short little piece...wow man i remembe when you were starting off and look at you now and you have become a good emcee...im glad to see that...this piece was nice...i liked the opening alot...and like how you changed your color scheme for when you spoke of a different season...clever...-E-
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Good way of explaining love in a different form.I liked this poem it was good i had to read it twice to check my understanding but very good keep up the good work..
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short piece, but all around nice. it made winter seem like more than just a season, which to me is creative. the flow was good, the structure was nice, and you even its also neat how you were able to add emotion to such a piece. the imagery was brilliant, ya got the word choice down. i actually felt warm reading this man. lol. nice job. keep at it.
peACE
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Nice Piece You Stayed On Topic..I Would've Liked It To Be Longer But Its Coo Eitha Way...
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I agree, man, this was a nice piece man..I liked it...everything was nice in this...you had some good word choice in here....stucture was good in this as well, i liked it....flow in this was nice, stood out in it to me, liked the way you described things in this, very nice mental image!....Short though but it was nice for what you had in this...I liked it...as im sure most people will!...overall a nice piece man.
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upping c/mon peeps gimme feedback
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