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Thread: Attendance

  1. #1
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    Attendance

    Everyday he shows up, and it seems his life is more unforgiving,
    Should he blow up, his mind is sizzling, wife isn't at all kidding,
    She'll leave him,times a giving,everyday his mood swings shifting,
    from bad to worse, he's givin it his all, his boss won't let it up,
    He's getting ready for the fall, anguish repeats itself like a hiccup,
    His back is against the wall, as if his minds in his own stick-up,
    Fellowships his own,ones life is full of strife, lost in another zone,
    Can't even be entered by his wife,wounds that can't be sewn,
    Healing is a lost process, his wife and boss also having an affair,
    So now he's lost death out of his concious, they're not aware,
    That he knows,only noise heard between their moaning are crows,
    Suppose,they'd die,none would find out,stop to his highs and lows,
    So the objective in his minds been played out, here it now goes,
    KAAPLLOOWW!!, KAAPLLOOWW!!, sounds of the shotgun blow,
    No more showing up to work, no more showing up to his home,
    Thats the last day of his perfect attendance record, free to roam,
    One shotgun shell left, hes cases hims own life into his own tomb,
    KAAPLLOOWW!!
    WordPerfect

  2. #2
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    3 people
    LoCo
    Potent
    Cam
    WordPerfect

  3. #3
    Rock you in the Face Sir Skiddz SoPhrenic's Avatar
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    Nice drop Relik. This was pretty dope, I mean, theres always death somewhere along the lines of recent open mics, but you seemed calmed and had a different approach to it. Good shit.
    Hence Forward.. BURR!
    [YOUTUBE]seYxVBIsycE[/YOUTUBE]
    Just watch My Back, I got the front.

  4. #4
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    thanks, uppin for some more responses
    WordPerfect

  5. #5
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    alright anyone of u hoes willin to peep this???? i see 18 ppl looked, but can someone dro psomethin. hoes.
    WordPerfect

  6. #6
    LastPoet
    Guest
    ..Hmm..nice...I like your wordplay...good flow too...8/10..^^

  7. #7
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    ok, any thing more...indepth
    WordPerfect

  8. #8
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    hoes??
    WordPerfect

  9. #9
    snakeyes
    Guest
    NIIIIIIIIIIIICE, I REALLY LIKE THIS ONE DOG.SIMPLE AND SO RELEVANT. I'LL BE SEEING YOUR MORE OFTEN.

  10. #10
    Lewd
    Guest
    i liked it man.it was an interesting piece.very creative and a different perscpective not often seen.flow was off at some points other than that it thought it was tight.welldon.

    do me a favour and drop a vote at this battle...............................


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=98116

  11. #11
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    thanks uppin for more pipple
    WordPerfect

  12. #12
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Awards 1-2 Punch HW Champion Legendary Member Legendary OM OM HOF SS HW Champion LLL Champion - Award Request Accepted
    It was a decent piece, imagery and content
    were both fairly good i thought. You stuck to
    the topic and hand quite nicely, the flow was
    off for me though, each one seemed to be 2
    syllables out, its only a minor thing, but flow
    does actually work in text . . and it will read
    better to the reader if you give it a nice flow.
    But yeah, the transition's were decent, kept
    my attention throughout it .. it was worded
    fairly well, the only thing i didn't really enjoy
    was how you rounded it off. The whole 'gun'
    idea didn't seem that well thought out to me,
    but aside from that this was felt. Nice piece..
    short and yet to the point.


    Props.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  13. #13
    is Right.
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    i liked the piece..
    early multis set the tone and u gave a good imagery in the piece
    it showed a fast decline in the kids life which was good
    but i wudda like to see him live lol..
    anyways good overall piece..
    Vocab was also nice pz

  14. #14
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    lol thank u thank u real replys, i love u guys lol, word.
    WordPerfect

  15. #15
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    i wonder if i forgot my 3 ppl masta c would review this ... Masta, where ya at???
    WordPerfect

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