I'm a try this again...I fucked the first thread up
10-16 bars
post 20 min. after check in
lets go
Diverse
Gold Mouth
I'm a try this again...I fucked the first thread up
10-16 bars
post 20 min. after check in
lets go
checkin in
Its true I'm new, but you are just a goon, your game is loose//
You gets blown away, like loose sand , on a sandune//
This baffon gets ate up and consumed//
Its true I'm a maniac, thrashin this hemopheliac when I attack//
You gets missused and abused,I maul, and you bleed and bruise//
Are you nervous, a victim of your own chitter chatter?//
I can hear your heart beat race, sound like pitter-patter//
This lame is afraid of is brains splitter-splatter//
Plasma all over the wall, looks like modern art, ya' know//
Doomed from the start, The scene is graphic, if I may say so//
Disfigured face, reminds me of a Picasso//
You against me, who's reasponsible, for this fiasco//
You's a fraud, like D. Brasco, I deal with you accordingly, asshole//
I strangle ya' then mangle ya', I'm a wrangler, check my 6-shot and lasso//
Hog tie ya' limbs, and leave your remains, under the bridge//
I'm a grown man, your juvenille, I will kill innocent kids//
your a southern boy in D.C.?, come down to where the south is//
thinkin you can battle well put your "money" (gold) where your mouth is//
this is my check in and it doubles as my verse, i let you drop first knowin you'd be worse//
So now your face turnin red cuz a better mc dissed you//
my lyrics will sever your head and deteriorate muscle tissue//
six lines in and already your feelin scared//
with lyrics so paralyzing you need to get a wheelchair//
save all your cowboy bullshit for the old west//
this is a modern day gunfight right at ya computer desk//
so let the slaughterin begin, you may as well be offerin the win//
don't worry i'll be the one to notify your next of kin//
let em know of your unfortunate demise, tell them you were gay and liked to roleplay in a cowboy disguise//
now your perplexed by the way my rhyme connects//
leavin you extinct like a tyrannosaurus rex//
yeah your a grown man, but your lyrics are docile//
only checkin on this board cuz your a pervert pedophile//
opener - D
closer - D
punches - D
vocab - D
overal - D
there wasnt much else going on in this battle...kinda weak
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New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz
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^^wow that was a pretty shit vote
Breakdown--
Punches-D
Flow-Tie
Metas-D..not bad
Structure-None
Enjoyment-Tie..sum laffs
Complexity-D
Sustainment-D..jus held it more
Overall-D
MAKE SURE YA HIT THIS UP OR I'LL KEEP BUGGIN PZ
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=96273
uppin for some votes and drop your thread on here and i'll vote on your battles........................
if i could poll vote i would vote for diverse her had a better verse overall... better punches better everything
vote- diverse
D killed it in this, better flow, punches, and wrdplay. Gold your verse was aight but you didn't use any good punches. vote D...hit up my battle with infinite and vote thanks,
uppin for some more votes and just drop a link to your battle and i'll hit that up................................................ .............................
c'mon people drop some votes on here and leave a link, i'll drop a vote on your shit as well...................................
Diverse Came Better...Had Better Punches And A More Elevated Style...Both Had Around Average Wordplay But Diverse Made His Punches Connect Better...Also Both Can Work On Structure And Flow...Both Ya'll Flow Was Choppy In Most Places..
Keep Elevating..
Vote - Diverse
THIS WUZ SOME EASY SHIT TO VOTE.........
GOLD= U HAD SOME NICE MULTI'S BUT THEY AINT FIT....IT SOUND LIKE U WUZ JUST THROWIN WORDS TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT THEY MENT...OTHA THAN THAT I WUZ FEELIN IT
DIVERSE=HOTT FROM BOTTOM TO TOP DOWG NICE SPIT, U GOT A LIL SLOPPY IN DA MIDDLE BUT PICKED IT BACK UP....NICE DROP
VOTE= DIVERSE
openeriverse
closer:gold mouth- diverse fed
punches
structure
vocab:Tie
wordplay
overall
good battle peeps, but diverse won with harder hittin punches
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leave feed and a link i'll return it
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