Mind Is Not Brain (peep)

[Auspicious]

Mind Is Not Brain..
Also Means "In Your Head"

His Mind Un-Right.. Thoughts In Depth..
His Time In Sight.. Brought Regrets..
Disregard The Dead.. Life He Sold..
Its In Your Head.. Like They Told..

..What Was Told, Forgotten..

Pain Met Anguish.. Torchered His Soul..
Traded For Places.. Escorted Yet Bold..
Proctored In Anger.. Self Vault That He Hid..
Doctors To Strangers.. Tell That Fault Wasn't His..
Split Persons.. Diagnosed With Cause..
The Hurt Worsened.. By The Most w/ Flaws..
Case Wasn't Extreme.. Facts Proved It..
Faced His Beliefs.. Faced What Truth Is..
Young, He Was Told This.. All She Said..
He Had Begun To Get Scolded.. All In His Head..

..Truth's Return..

He Grew.. Brought To His Youth..
He Threw.. Thoughts To The Truth..
Remained Calm.. Though Mind Astray..
Pain Palmed.. Throw Time Away..
Fumed In Hate.. Not Well Liked..
Assumed For Fate.. Shots Felt Light..
Turmoil Burned.. Twisted For Help..
Un-Foiled Turns.. Didn't Feel Like Himself..
Popped A Pill.. Didn't Know Why..
Stopped His Will.. Livin Slow By..
Eyes At The Tablet.. Head Of The Chamber..
Why Did He Have It.. Fed Him His Anger..
Questioned His Parents.. Blind Responses..
Defenses Apparent.. Rewind His Conscience..
"Nothing To Worry About.. Its All In Your Head..
Hurried With Doubt.. Before He Found Death..

..In His Head No Longer..

Shoved In Answers.. Strangers Banished Him..
Was It Cancer?.. Or Anger Management?..
Stopped His Effort.. Believed What They Said..
Knocked In Pressure.. It Was All In His Head..
Threw The Prescription.. A Cure On His Own..
Knew The Description.. Pure But Alone..
Let Them Make Fun.. Mind Over Matter..
Let The Fate Run.. Life Posed To Shatter..
Resentment Ventured Back.. Halter Scene Thrown..
Tormented Centured Facts.. Alter Ego..
Vented In Rage.. Took Knives With His Depth..
Presented His Hate.. Took Lives To Their Deaths..
Proceeded His Method.. Murder Fluent..
Conceeded w/ Epics.. Deliver Un-Prudent..
No Remorse.. Something Centured, Nothing Blamed..
Slow Divorse.. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained..
His Knife Point Withered.. Due Soon Ten Gone..
His Lifes' Point Hindered.. To Prove Them Wrong..

..The Verdict..

Trial He Sat.. Awaited His Sentence..
While He Had.. Waited Defenseless..
Wick Ran Low.. His Memory A Blur..
Wishes un-Known.. Temporarily Un-Sure..
Un-Certain Jury.. Read The Hand To Me..
Persons In Worry.. Plead Insanity..

As I Recall.. Took What I Had Said..
Pass To Them All.. "Looks Like Its Not All In My Head"..


Feed Back On..
Romantic Notions - Word Perfect
Sketchbook Of Rain - A2Z
They Just Dont Get It - Baron God n' Rob D

[Auspicious]

Anyone ?

[Formula]

Word, i'm feeling these deep pieces you dropping cuz. This piece was ill, vocab was there, flow was on-point, had some imagery. Everything about this drop was excellent. Props cuz.

Questioned His Parents.. Blind Responses..
Defenses Apparent.. Rewind His Conscience..
^^^ For some reason, that bar stood out to me the most. . . Ill shit.

-Formula.

[Auspicious]

Thanks
Up

[Handcuffs]

man, all i could think when i was reasin this was, who is he signed too, nice playa, keep on postin'

[Auspicious]

lol Thanks

[pot1ent]

As from just finishing reading one of your other pieces I see your structure is very consistant & really quite original. .The usual content was great. .Really def, Like to see some more audio from you especially now. .

Woudn't everyone else??

[Auspicious]

Me Me !
Lol..Thanks Uppin

[E C C O]

yo loved it like said above wouldnt mind a bit of audio if i come accross it......keep up the good work caus i liked it........really got me thinkin when i was reading it.....

[ILLunatic]

DAMN Homie
Ya Gettin Close To Sureals Stuff
Nice Shit...........Enjoyable To Read
Tight Rhyme Scheme, Good Vocab
Everything Was Awsome
Hot Shit, Hot Shit

PROPS

[Auspicious]

TO tHe Top

[.:alliK:.]

.....................................
yo..................................
dunno what to say............
deep shit.........................
very dope man.................
10/10..............................
nie structure, original........
......................................

peep my shyt:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=89596

[Maven.]

hmm.
this was pretty good.
but I'd just like to remidn everyone that "dag, dat was ill!" replies don't help anyone. It's okay to give positive feedback, just don't be afraid to give negative either.

okay, here we go.
This was a nice piece. It reminds me a lot of my writing, in that a lot of it didn't seem to have any meaning. Just words put there, making the reader find a connection. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because it will win you a lot of shit, but sometimes people will see right through it and realize that half of your piece was gibberish.
You had a pretty good storyline, supplemented with some lines that stood out and had a lot of meaning.

Questioned His Parents.. Blind Responses..
Defenses Apparent.. Rewind His Conscience..

Shoved In Answers.. Strangers Banished Him..
Was It Cancer?.. Or Anger Management?..

good lines man. They made you think and actually seemed to capture the topic. Your rhyme scheme was cool, and your 6 word lines were really nice until you started lengthening them. It had a nice poetic flow at the beginning.

I've never really been a fan of having headings before every verse. It makes for a good summary, almost like chapter titles, but I don't think they're necessary.

I couldn't tell if the courtroom at the end was actually a real courtroom or just something in his head. Was that intentional?

all in all, this was a pretty nice piece, but I think you need to build more upon lines, so that they have actual meaning and aren't just words.
Peace

[Auspicious]

The Synopsis Of It All..

He Knew Their Was Something Wrong With Him
yet Everyone Kept Telling Him It Was All In His Head
So When He Killed Everyone Cuz Of His Split Personality
He Was On Trial. He Plead Insanity And Told All Those
Who Said That It Was All In His Head, That He Was
Right..

Thanks Maven

[set-ignorance]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=90380

Yo, the vocab is nailed down, one problem tho, it sounded more like a poem than a drop. Don't get me wrong, it wud be a wicked poem, but can u imagine that shit on a hip-hop lp? I can't. Keep doin ya stuff G Peace