just a quick drop....hit me up with feedback

[MonStar]

ok this is just a lil drop, didnt really spend hardly any time on it...just felt like dropping something....no set topic to it, just was goin with it.....was made to the 'what happend to that boy beat'....so peep it and leave some feedback...also if you got something you want me to look over leave a link and i'll hit it up...



yea, what happened to that boy, fucka got merked
by the disturbed zombie that emerged from the dirt
intertwine the mind with rhymes that disturb a corpse
contain graphic things that derange the brain with brute force
so the lesson, is i stay packing a verbal smith n wesson
blessed with weapons that'll leave ya body up in sections
my lines combined with nines, tear through an emcees spine
check the design, strange with the rhyme, bars cloud ya mind
disturbed and deadly, words are heavy, composing dope medleys
impose the flow untill it takes control, STOP, it just wont let me
tackle and shackle ya ass with my milestone performances
flow comes storming in, with the gust of a cyclones enormous winds
its magical the way i drop my magnificent manifesto
cock and let go, outta ya range, "i cant connect yo"
i resonate residue that resembles nuclear reactors
remain forceful, why ya'll old news like washed up actors
i've rendered a verdict, so ya bitches surrender ya purses
dismemberment and murder, i'll injury ya cervix on purpose
spontaneously combustible with rhymes that clutch ya throat
hang you from a 'cliff', and no i'm not talking bout a 'huxtable'
i should come with an illness warning, brilliance that remains dormant
hate and torment, stay with inside knowledge like a government informant
imprint my incomprehensible impressions into ya brains bedding
performing lyrical beheadings, got you outta ya skin just like a snake shedding
my ill imagery, mixed with my verbal symmetry, will merk any enemy
diss everyone, even a friend of me, u understand, u comprehending me?
dont get confused, sit back kick off ya shoes, and get ready for illness
i know you feel this, my sixth sense is a sick sense, call me bruce willis
forceps and scalpels, guns and house shoes, i'll beat the shit out you
say what i want, dont give a fuck, i'll never 'coat it', i'm not a 'capsule'
so brrrrrrrrrrrrr, leave you froze like the dead of winter when its 20 below
with 20 inches of snow, ripped this beat, with just my free, what the fuck i need a hook fo yo....



hit me up with some feedback

[noncentz]

YOUR DIF THEN MOST CATS I KNOW FROM O~h10 BUT I LIKE HOW YOU VICIOUSLY ATTACK RHYMES THIS WAS HUMOROUS TO ME CAUSE IM FUCKED UP BUT I LIKED THIS STAY UP TWIN AND DO YOUR THING.

[Emerge]

alright dog nice piece nice piece that was pretty ill the only thing i can tell u is dont ever EVER use smith and wesson that shit is more played than chingy also dog u shud record this on audio and post it and shit sounds ku the way i read it made me use mad syllable trauma good multis too

[aintgonnastop]

freepost

[Drummerman]

AINT GONNASTOP needs to STOP freepostin an everything
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

[AbbyNinja]

if u spent hardly anytime on this shit then congrats coz this shit is pretty ill, it has a pretty sick flow especially if u thought of this without the beat first, there is also good use of wordplay and i read it to the 'what happend to that boy beat' and the shit sounds tight u should do it on audio coz, i think it will sound ill on audio.




peace.

[mysterie]

that waz brill man

great to read

i dont usely bother readin long ones

but im glad i read diz one

keep it up

n keep elevatin

and u will fuckin ill az fuk

[MonStar]

thanks for all the feedback everybody....upping for some more...

[e.coli]

yo that is some sweet shit for a lil drop. i was feelin almost everything flow vocab it was all on point my nigga. nice drop.

[Endeva.]

yeah i agree that this was a tight drop, the subject was decent which is one of the main things i look for in a decent read, that and nice flow.....yeah this was good shit....keep it up.......

[Provocitive]

i cant see anything wrong with it, nice rhymes, nice flow, keep it up

[MonStar]

uppin this again to get some more feedback...

-1-

[Rob D]

this was a good piece,

like everyone else said it would make a good audio,

nice flow and vocab,

overall good drop,

keep it up,

check out my Empty Casket piece

[skitten]

pretty good, pretty good
nice beat dog