The Pain I Disdain

[Throwaway123]

i wrote the first verse a while back in another thread by AT.. i just added another verse and a hook to make a short song.. tell me what u guys think

Said Our Love Is Forever Didn’t Know It Would Turn To Never
Mood’s Change Just Like The Weather
Seems Like Its Always The Fall With Us
I Guess Love Was Never Enthralled With Us

Never Call Back Making Our Future Seem Like A Lost Fact//
Always There For You Cuz Love Is Something I Never Lacked//
Just Look The The Past.. What About A Few Weeks Ago//
All We Had Was High's Now We're Just Riding On Lows//
If I Could Rap To A Beat I Would Make Sure It Was Slow//
Feel My Words Of Forgiveness I'm Not Just Your Regular Joe//
What Happened To Us? We Had Love Now Look At Us//
Now It Seems Just Trying To Hang Out With You Is A Cuss//
I Call When I Know Your Away Just To Hear Your Voices Sweet Tune//
Just Hoping One Day It Will Be Back To Say I Love You//

Said Our Love Is Forever Didn’t Know It Would Turn To Never
Mood’s Change Just Like The Weather
Seems Like Its Always The Fall With Us
I Guess Love Was Never Enthralled With Us

Never Thought That You Would Ever Be Dismal And Bleak//
You Said Don’t Look Til I’m Ready.. But I Always Peeked//
How Could I Avoid God’s Miraculous Creature//
From The Face To The Toe’s Hell Every Feature//
Oh How I Would Of Treated Ya If You Were To Wait//
It’s Miraculous How I Swear Were Bound By Fate//
I Spit To Show My Heart Just Not To Get A Date//
When I’m With You Everything Else Just Stands Still//
I’d Still Remember You Even If I Were To Sell A Mill//
For You Have Left Footprints On My Lifeline//
So In A Sense You Will Always Be Close To Mine//

Said Our Love Is Forever Didn’t Know It Would Turn To Never
Mood’s Change Just Like The Weather
Seems Like Its Always The Fall With Us
I Guess Love Was Never Enthralled With Us

Said Our Love Is Forever Didn’t Know It Would Turn To Never
Mood’s Change Just Like The Weather
Seems Like Its Always The Fall With Us
I Guess Love Was Never Enthralled With Us

[noncentz]

actually i found alot in the text that makes this powerful in its' own right.....i enjoyed the read.
vocab was a lil simple but it worked well to amolify the actual content.

[Mistral]

this peice was pretty good, i enjoyed reading it, you had good flow i thought, but it was a pretty good peice overall, If you get the chance check out me and gene pools peice called "nice guys finish last" thanks.

[N.D.eva]

when i stated reading it i didnt like it much, it seemed too simple, ya seemed to have ok flow though, but as i read on i found it got better only thing i didnt like was the chorus, felt it let you down abit...............................PEACE

[Throwaway123]

.: Uppin :.

[Throwaway123]

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