doorway of time, 2nd verse

[Johnny 6-feet]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...35#post1045635

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...49#post1045749

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02#post1045802

the year was 2k1 and i was blown away/
her name was sue and, God, if id known today/
what mistakes would be made and the breaks that life gave/
maybe i'd still be sitting solo feeling light rage/
when i think of the situations we might stage/
the nights we got together that ended in fights, age/
is upon me now, im feeling older that my years/
as i scriblle memories down, holding back my tears/
if i could backtrack, id change more than a few things/
id probably take a trip to town centre and buy some new rings/
pass her my last name and be happy by now/
but you cant change the past at all, feel crappy and drown/
my first long term girlfriend is gone beyond reach/
so how long can i teach that its wrong to just breach/
a good commitment, a good life is something to work for/
this doorway of time will only make me hurt more/

[palmetto]

i like that, good story i felt that. but i didnt like the hole last word needs to ryme. but still liked it. and thanks for the post on mine

[dw.]

i like that....gud steady flow...consistant n gud story to....keep droppin stuff like this it was a gud read!!! props to ya....pz

will ya check my shit....before live.....thanx!

[s.R.]

Topic was very good and creative... vocabulary was alright and you made it very hard hitting and flow was consistant

that gives you 8.6/10

Return The Favor...Peep the Link in my signature

[Bigg E Z]

Ohh Another Ballad about THEM...

Ahh well...Women Aye...??

LOL...

I liked it...It stayed on topic, but what made that a good thing is becuz u found gold with that topic...

I liked it...

Its been sed allready...Flow was good...Ur Syllable count was steady, and thats important...(its not like im telling you whats important bout writtin a verse by the way)

Multies and shit was on point...But i guess it has to be for a verse to be trully reckognized....

Holla mine if u would be so kind.... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=103384