When I Write

[KayBori]

When I write......

I never knew I had these feeling till I took out a pen and wrote.
If I werent so cautious of the lines
...I'd close my eyes...and the colors would be so vivid,then the memorys would be so clear.
I could see all the feelings that are so far away, yet I hold so near.
When I write My Poetry are the thoughts you'll never hear
and this here paper is the perfect ear. The paper...is warmer then my hearts ever been but just as worn.
When I write I think of, notes on lifes lessons. I know I'll never start, I don't remember when I began.
When I write I do it for praise of my self proclaimed dexterity and for closure I haven't felt yet
Sometimes in hope of finding me, someone I haven't yet met.
Its such a feat!, to know everything I've written has lead up to the next one and then some
When your concrete even just for a moment it wonderful to have something to fall back on.
To feel like theres a person you can send your love note to. To have someone who won't give up...
....someone who refuses to be thru....
It could take a moment, an hour, or forever.
Who says my inner voice won't be there for worse and for better?
When I write poetry is the reflection for my mirror. I'm glad I could show it to you. I hope I brought you nearer.

[vocabz]

excellent job, Kay... I enjoyed this alot... another good read... this one seemed a bit different than your other two pieces.. not as emotional but still very strong.. "The paper...is warmer then my hearts ever been but just as worn.".. honestly... this little part stuck out the most to me.. very nice wording... I loved it.. every piece I read from you has been amazing.. its kinda good you brought this switching it down a notch.. less stress it made on me.. i was starting to get worried about you for a minute, Kay, lol.. dropping those last two pieces.... your writing ability is incredible.. stay active.. i plan on seeing more from you soon..

sorry for such a short reply. im drunk and dont really feel like typing as much. next piece you write..... ill make up for it

[KayBori]

thanks
i decided to go lighter i dont want to make ppl to slit thier writs or something lol

[KayBori]

bumping^

[KayBori]

bumping
im good for rtf u guyz

[Facts Machine]

That paper line def stood out to me. I truly thought this piece was sick, very well written. The rhymescheme wasn't all complex and crazy, but it's the message that overcame it all along with the obvious emotion put into this. The vocab made it sound more professional too. Keep at it, this was hot.

[Laureate]

"When I write I do it for praise of my self proclaimed dexterity and for closure I haven't felt yet"

Really liked this line, specifically the 'for closure I haven't felt yet' because for me that rings true. I felt this was a very nice poem, nothing amazing, but solid. The sporadic rhyming kept things interesting throughout. I thought this was a very good look into the mind of a writer in general, not just you, and was very detailed and accurate in how most writers think. This was the first poem I've read form you and I can honestly say I'm impressed. Glad to see you can do more than post pretty pics



please feed on http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328370

[Engivale]

I'm not as into the poetry stuff... it just seems to really kill the rhythm of shit... I dunno... that's just my opinion, makes it tough for me to read along to it. The ideas here were solid, it wasn't a bad read or anytihng, I just prefer more hip-hop based lyrics... on this site, anyways... But I am RTFing, so I gotta at least give it my time to read it.

To feel like theres a person you can send your love note to. To have someone who won't give up...
....someone who refuses to be thru....
It could take a moment, an hour, or forever.
Who says my inner voice won't be there for worse and for better?

I liked that part the best... struck me the most personally. So you know. =D

[KayBori]

^ lol
thanks so much u guyz!

[KayBori]

bumping

[.:~Digital~:.]

This was a very nice piece. Emotional not quite but the emotion in it was nice, Not creative but then not seen everyday. the peace was good with imagery as most people would know what it feels like if they have ever written for themselves - you used some great metaphors... 9/10 i would give you - this piece was well written.. Good job

RTF link is in sig

[P. Mortuus]

This was a good lil piece. Not great technically but the emotive and message aspects were pretty good. The paper line was good and i liked the line about closure also. Visually this was a turn off, pretty it up a bit to make it easier for me to read lol. Overall, this piece shows much potential that you have to yet realise.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328388

^HONEST VOTE TOPICAL BATTLE.