Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

[Foreshadow]

Addicted to addiction
White powder with glass mirrors
Pipes amongst rolled dollars
Mind walking alongside god
.
.
.

Trapped within misfortune
Living for the monsters drip
Running circles on the freeway
Pulling feathers from angel wings
.
.
.

Boiled down needle injected
Fluid crawls beneath the surface
Touching every nerve with precision
I love to scratch when she runs by
.
.
.

The world has devoured me
Purple skys over green alleys
Dusting white gold from my nose
Hoping to regain this junkies anatomy
.
.
.

[Kaotic Theory]

dope topic dude very original i must say very original,,, i liked the whole structure and the mood of the drop to me was mellow and mysterious, wow aint seen u drop in a while yet impressive ive expected u to be be rusty.....yet u werent at all, the emotion was okay, the imagery was very vivid, and the vocabulary was smooth flowing and nice, overall a great coming home drop foreshadow.

[fastforwords]

um, not bad. consistent until the last stanza
regain this junkies anatomy? either it's bad word
choice or you just dont understand the word.
anatomy = body, why do you need to regain the
body, it's more like the mind is out of control with
addiction, or even Life would have been more
appropriate. just my 2 cents. cheers.

[Foreshadow]

Thanks for the feedback!

[The Vortex]

well you did reply to one of mine though it was a bit shitty.ha

neway


first thong that hit me good was the 2nd stanza. yea image was cool f'sho.thoughts were sort of warped .
3rd stanz was cool also. seemed fluid for real,,,
emotion was ok not too much.imagery was what made it decent - as you might say..
3rd stanza started off ok but seemed to lose its poetic poise

so yeah decent piece bro

bye