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Thread: Nature vs. Nurture

  1. #1
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    Nature vs. Nurture

    Nature vs. Nurture

    black-Women in Question
    green- Breast Surgeon


    "My doctor told me these implants would go with me to my grave"..


    I'm tired of my smaller size breast to the eyes men
    My life's a mess if I just go without hiding them
    The fact that I think like that makes me insecure
    Been thinking of a boob job but I'm not to sure
    The fact is bigger boobs seem to illume my pleasing
    But I have to think about the autoimmune diseases
    Yet it seems every since I've even felt this from mental
    I've been willing to put aside all the health risk potential
    I've never even heard of any capuslar contracture
    Based off the name I'd hate to know what happens after
    Which one would I use to fill my will silicone or saline
    Neither is perfect but silicone breaks go unseen
    Yes "silent raptures" occur without a visable change
    Exterior looks great while the interior is filled with pain

    I think I'll go with saline having no enthusiasm to wait
    After years of breast feeding have distorted their shape
    though breast implants really don't last a lifetime
    going through with this you better be in your right mind

    Just thinking of the enhancement and enjoying them long
    not ever thinking about having to fix what goes wrong
    disturbed vision, heart palpitations, muscle twitching, thyroid disease
    "The risks were much greater than another surgeon led me to believe."
    In today's society where everyone compete's for unknown reasons
    Implants hide breast tissue and in result as well hide lesions
    Scarred tissue can even mimic the apperance of cancer
    Yet you'd go this far to consume the look of a dancer
    I'm just trying to make sure that you're aware of the danger
    While not trying to anger the eye's buldge on this stranger
    It's not necessarily the product but really depends on the surgeon
    You've found a doctor who'll answer your questions for certain
    Pulling out here check book and signing letters incursive
    She said "let's do it" and the first procedure began behind the curtain
    Last edited by Forum; January 22nd, 2007 at 12:52 PM


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  2. #2
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    Battles I need closed

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  3. #3
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    Hmm...

    I like the topic...Never seen anything like this...But It LACKED content...AHH...This could've been dope, but it just talked about stuff we have all heard and ish...Where's the emotion or flip/twist in this...I'm not saying this was bad by any means...But you took a Dope topic and made it kinda ehh...Average...Scheme was could...Some of the wording was off but didn't hurt the piece...Detail was average and light....Lacked emotion and such...

    I dunno...To me it just seemed like there was so much more you could've done with this...I see what you were doing, but apart from the topic...Not much creativity after the topic...

    I dunno...Could just be me tho...
    This is my signature...

  4. #4
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    What I was doing was trying to capture both voices of the patient and the doctor....really didn't need that much emotion...cause I was just talking about the effects of being natural and going to something that needs to be nurtured...I could've played with it a bit more...on the creative side but I figured I'd just give it to them raw..and uncut...when you read my pieces you have to immediately jump into carracter to really grasp the emotion and edge of the piece...but I appreciate the feed though...


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  5. #5
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    bump


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  6. #6
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    pretty cool drop here
    some comments

    great topic
    and i interpreted it as nature would be not getting implants and nurture would be
    but u could mix it up- like human nature would be wanting more while nurture would be content etc... could have been developed a little more if you wanted to

    i didnt find the 2 voices to sound different enough that i consciously differentiated them as i read but that didnt hurt the read in anyway

    decent flow and not too simplistic vocab
    some of the research i imagine you did on this topic was presented a little awkwardly

    overall a very creative drop with a lot going for it

    hit up the OM in my sig plz
    IJL

  7. #7
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    lmao @ the topic... never suspected this as being a boobjob thread. the emotional was pretty consistent
    i felt her thoughts of why she wanted those implants. good reason behind a not so good ethic.. the imagery was pretty clear too
    the switch from surgent to lady went over good with a clean cut flow. i'd say to add just a few multis tho. original read. props.
    Bobericc
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  8. #8
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    Thanks for the feed and I will RTF to all that left feed...just give me a minute...


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  9. #9
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    lol i read this in the SS thread and i cant belive u made a verse about a woman getting a tit job. it was very creative. u had good vocab and the flow was there but i feel that u could have too the story a bit farther with a bit of a twist if u made a second verse or mad this longer and had like a bad effect that the implants did instead of how u had them just talking about the surgery this was a really good peice dont get me wrong but i think u could have too it to the next level. nice work.

  10. #10
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    Re: Nature vs. Nurture

    hello feeders....


    Battles I need closed

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