User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: So where'd he go?

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    So where'd he go?

    So where'd he go?

    He was a child minder
    Old mug, fund finder
    living monotonously
    He was a pension man
    Bold hug, tensions bland
    Believing in originality


    so where’d he go?

    Some say Africa, in the hot sands
    Others Saudi or the grand land
    with the Grand Canyon in hand
    or ol’ England, hot cups & tea
    maybe the church, so religiously
    How about India, spices & laughs
    Or Afghanistan, war struck halved
    I heard Kashmir sells Pashmina scarf’s
    But isn’t it against them to love the arts
    With their rules & stone cold hearts
    Off topic Miss. Stone, please calm down
    Where he go, great ol’ Johnny BeArown

    So where’d he go?

    They say he was a freedom fighter
    Fighting against the tyrannical ignite
    He flew the depth of the purple night
    So they say, didn’t he burn in the light
    Maybe he was a superhero, maybe not
    Sure he was, Ol’ Superman astute to opt
    To fight against wrong, he fought a lot
    Surely not human, maybe a military robot
    Was he on our side, or a Nazi in disguise
    Wasn’t he just a sweet old man
    ………………………………*looks of surprise*
    Of course not, he was special *Slight Frown*
    So Where he go, great ol’ Johnny BeArown

    He was a child minder
    Old mug, fund finder
    living by necrophilia
    He was a pension man
    Bold hug, tensions bland
    Caught acting in paedophilia


    Not all old men are sweet…
    Remember…call the police
    If you see old people acting strange

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: So where'd he go?

    Where did he go?

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: So where'd he go?

    Up^.

  5. #5
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    England, Liverpool
    Posts
    5,123
    Battle Record
    8-1

    Re: So where'd he go?

    An original concept with some nice imagery to back it up, i think longer bars and a stronger rhymne scheme would've brought this to life more but you had the 2 more important aspects of a topical piece down which made it worth the read. Decent length and solid vocab as well.

    Keep on posting.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: So where'd he go?

    Yup thanks.

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: So where'd he go?

    Bang Bang.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    3,288
    Battle Record
    28-5

    Re: So where'd he go?

    forming new writing styles hey?.ha....adding the metre no doubt.also exploring the imagery boundaries......... also good compression of concept here / having a short but sweet effect...... yeah... has a nice assortment of rhymes. switching between a few basic to more complex rhyme arrangements....good work.... on that5 tip,.........
    i see you like fucking with the ole english HIStory quite often/...


    yeah bang em peados up fsho with some harsh treatment I say.fucking buggers -


    n if it aint too much bother check out me new scrolls me ole mucker-

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321559

    pz
    .................................................. ......................

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •