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Thread: Riot

  1. #1
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Riot

    Riot

    He read the headlines,
    eyes bulging at the dreadful find.
    Archeologists said the signs
    they predicted in Egypt,
    solicited the decline in BC times
    of elicit writing scribed by
    an edict, reticent like a third eye.




    With paint cans spilling over stained hands
    they stayed playing in back alleys, waiting
    for rally cries to bomb buildings and bad-lands.
    The average savage scam damned to disband
    when fanaticism gaped the schism mapped,
    back packers traveled wherever the camel spits
    with fitted hats, strapped with their vandal kits.
    substantial traps set, they'll clap as the scandal hits;
    combat attacks with subtle revolutions, viewed as
    a nuisance since governments can't dismantle it.

    A B-Boys Alpha destroyed the same Omega code
    owned by infamous slave labor unions bestowed
    with cardboard corners where DJ's were box-cutting,
    mixing sweat into the dirt on the dance floor, muttering
    ...pour more liquor over this culture and haste your
    takeover before our holy wars slowly become sober.

    I wonder what Jerusalem would do to these fools
    with guns, coming from some anti-semitic old school;
    surveyed in Hebrew as he threw bricks through a
    Hindu's open window. What a monstrous subconscious
    that tripped over the blood and crypts of kings dismissed
    as soft selling compared to their uranium up-bringing.
    'Cause these kids don't fight for shit like kicks and rims...
    they might be lucky to keep all their limbs by age ten,
    with Palestinian tanks pumpin' brakes again, then
    riding overtly; rolling on dubs over their next to kin.

    Every desert leads to these vacant pyramid schemes
    built by our ancestry, so stand ready (remain unseen)
    hereditary plagues will keep claiming the land of plenty.
    Caught in a cataclysm passing over an infant city, the
    first-born clutching crosses with looped holes, digging
    for divinity; refugee groups are gold for bohemian living.
    The oracles of original aborigines idolized revival cycles
    the centuries represented prematurely, procured to be idle.

    Surely the grain and sickle were too simple to securely
    sustain any affluent community purely... so of course we
    enhanced dependency, though no true truancy currently
    expanded our expensive trading from concepts to currency.
    Exerting his force the emperor retorts "there's no stopping this"
    Cairo's hieroglyphics brought forth a choice lost in ominous
    problems when they extorted a large embossed sarcophagus
    with a bomb wrapped in nostalgic graffiti; the art was ponderous.
    Optimists professed revelation as deception found an entrance,
    bringing conventional weapons to end wars in the heavens.

    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Re: Riot

    someone?
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  3. #3
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Riot

    the reason this is probably being slept on is most likely because it's on some other level shit. it's REALLY hard for the average mind to understand. but it seems to me like the point of it was, some weapons or something was found in Egypt, possibly the demise of Egypt itself and the ending of BC times. then the piece goes indepth into the ways of american's in a way and how fucked everything is, and then it ends with a sort of prediction, like america will be egypt in a way. dunno, seemed like what i was suppose to get, if not PM me ..if i'm wrong, tell me.. lol, other than that, the piece was historical. REALLY well written, multies were off the hook with that crazy flow you always got. thanks for the read man, it was dope shit.


    EDIT: Also, the storyline really went well with world destruction by the people. very VERY explanatory and in-depth.

    leave feed man, i'm coming back into this OM shit ..

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=319422

    ^The Story of Abraham

    i fed on your shit, i'd appreciate the same feed back man.
    Last edited by Cody Nash; December 10th, 2006 at 03:49 AM

  4. #4
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Re: Riot

    Thanks man. Guess I'm getting too cryptic with my work...
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  5. #5
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Re: Riot

    On the real though, this isn't a hard read. I've seen plenty more pieces laced with more intricate themes/wording(Bounce for example). No offense (Cry especially) but I'm tired of kids claiming this is over dudes heads. If you can't understand it, pick up a book or look the word up in a dictionary and get educated. [/rant]
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  6. #6
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Re: Riot

    Very cool... this piece is about how Egypt was the first culture and the way it advanced a lot for humanity and what kinds of technology it brought... beer, (transportable calories), written language (hieroglypics), modern warfare weapons, burial altars, farming, government, lots of cool stuff was invented in Egypt, which was the first civilization on Earth... the flow is cool, I mean, sometimes it gets lost in the long lines and digs itself back out, (funny enough, Egypt, Right?), but mostly stays on point. Again, though, like the other guy said, Mindless, most of the young kids have no idea about the references you're making to this information. They just haven't been taught about it, this isn't high school history.

    Nice job, though, I'd like to represent the college educated and say this should beat most SS pieces, I think you got no-showed against or something, Right? Ah, well, the kids woulda voted for something retarded anyways. Or maybe this is just enough over people's heads to where they would pretend to get it and vote for its complexity? When if asked to write an essay explaining what they learned from the piece, most would shrug and take the F. LoL. For me- End Rant.

    I just hate when my shit is over people's heads when I think its so simple. But noone can read my shit from inside my head, and vice versa for you, so we always need to take a step back and try to read our work with an ignorant mind, if at all possible, to truly judge ourselves.

    Good job on this. Hit me up on the piece in my sig when u get the time, Mindless, and good luck on your match in SS this week.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  7. #7
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    Re: Riot

    The level that you write at is so beyond….I say…95% of …..of this whole fucking site.
    I mean time after time, drop after drop, you murder the page - simple as that, you fuckin’ murder the page. Even if cats don’t quite understand what it is your talking about at times who cares? Because the fact of the matter is…is that the craftiness of your words, the organization of your flow is enough to produce illness every fucking time. I mean in this piece for instance, you got imagery booming off the page, you have vocabulary, you have flow, placement, and your damn sure have content, all mixed together to create on extremely original and obviously intelligent drop.

    Favorite line:
    with a bomb wrapped in nostalgic graffiti; the art was ponderous.

    ^Now that’s dope, though I think it would have been 10x doper had you deleted the graffiti part
    And just said something along the lines of “with a bomb wrapped in nostalgia”- lol I don’t know why, maybe it would have sounded a little deeper.

    Anyways……..dope shit all the way across the boards.


    Pz

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