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Thread: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

  1. December 1st, 2006, 04:46 PM #1
    NiNjah Red
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    Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....




    Enter the Vortex…








    Pissing me off is simply stupidity
    Now just fucking look at me
    Bloodshot eye’s’ set crookedly
    On this welt wreaked visage
    Charged chronically, pupils enlarged
    An intellectual so scarred…
    Therefore, my scruples are marred
    As hard flames now play a charade
    Serenading souls, yet I was never afraid
    By breaking the mould - I keep cold away
    Deep thoughts blaze & smoulder rays
    Crazy crimson colours, cells contorted
    In this hellish haze hinged on morbid
    A singed sordid tour thru the horseshit
    I don’t complain at pains, won’t flinch as each slit
    Depicts a brain six inches of rain can’t restrain
    One man can change this global terrain
    In a day, for better or worse, in love, or in vain
    I burn cursed memories, lest I turn harebrained

    Foolish ears couldn’t absorb these remarks
    Yet I refuse to dumb down my speech for retards
    Shit sonny, being me my metaphor’s prancing at stars
    & it’s funny seeing dummies dancing in leotards
    Perceive me angry? Maybe I laugh behind the mask
    Believe in a future, & no longer rewind the past
    Ask me a stupid question. I’ll flip a clever reply
    It’s impossible to see me with that shit in ya eye
    I’m not a bad person, at least 65% of the time
    Plus, I’m inventive with rhyme, some say sublime
    Leaving minds inspired like mine, shining halos
    Rainbows form skin pigments; irises mirror the sky
    A dragon lives in my skull - is one way to describe
    This vibe, it never goes dull, I kiss the lips of light

    I play sweet for a minute, but beef is also savoury
    I’m fire, you know what fuck happen if you play w/ me
    I spread wildly, furiously rampaging without fears
    Mildly putting it “life is tough” but I drought tears
    & doubt years will kill my clear spearheaded chaos
    Still I control the glare; & rarely care about pathos
    I melt frosts in lost laurels & double-cross morals
    Sorrel & broth stewing in pots, lots of quarrels
    Orally ornate; this isn’t hate, it’s a blitz
    Losing patience - while I’m waiting to be rich
    Creating concepts so fascinating, it’s a hitch
    I’m a man not a demon, since Satan is a Bitch

    Exit…





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  2. December 3rd, 2006, 01:27 PM #2
    NiNjah Red
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    raise

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=317358
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  3. December 3rd, 2006, 01:37 PM #3
    Atti
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    This piece had everything it needed, and the flow and such was all spot on, however, for some reason I just couldn't connect. I never really felt a full understanding of the piece, and at time it seemed like you were just rambling on. Now, that could be (and odds are) due to my own short comings, but, that's how I felt throughout. There were tons of lines that really hit me and truly had me awe struck, but it seemed that on the overall I never really got into it. Sorry man, dope piece, *shrug* just wasn't for me I guess.

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  4. December 3rd, 2006, 04:35 PM #4
    B.I.Detained.
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    one more link!
    ArtificialIntelligence
    Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton
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  5. December 4th, 2006, 06:06 PM #5
    The Vortex
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    yeah link coming brix.
    yeah atti i couldnt be bothred to spit a story so was just expressing myself on certain fiery aspects...and talking on certain view points and situations in life.mostly i was writing to the picture and trynna create some imagery off it



    thanx for checking it out still
    .................................................. ......................
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  6. December 8th, 2006, 04:51 PM #6
    NiNjah Red
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    2nd link

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318615
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  7. December 9th, 2006, 04:30 AM #7
    S.K.O.R.C.H
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    Overall, decent piece. U had some nice multis and wordplay, but lacked some overall storyline rhymes. U were running wid an idea but then fell off that subject multiple times in ur verse. Still nice, keep spittin, -1- 5.75/10
    "Killing me with a gun is easy, try a pen"
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  8. December 9th, 2006, 11:11 AM #8
    DCPISFREE
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    Nice wordplay. The first verse was my favorite, it was full of multies, but they were hot. I sensed a flow in this, too, which makes it easier to read, good job on that. But you were going in all directions real quick. Which of course a lot of people do because it's their style, but it doesn't really connect, you know? I think it's can be easy and hard to write on one subject, message, or idea depending on what it is, and I know you could do somethin' if you did that. But this was still hot, man, great work.
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  9. December 9th, 2006, 01:03 PM #9
    DuvalCounty
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    i liked the peiece it was on point except for the topic. I didnt see where you were going with enter the vortex. Nice drop tho. stay up
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  10. December 10th, 2006, 10:45 AM #10
    NiNjah Red
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    Re: Enter the Vortex....fuckin SS SHIT!............................................. .....

    yeah thanx for the look peeps
    as for the Vortex

    My other name is Vortex

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