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Thread: Live Enough . . .

  1. #1
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Live Enough . . .

    Last drop for a while, except for one collaboration that`s coming up. Enjoy this one people.
    -----------

    One time I asked how did creativity start and
    I was exposed to a world of hate, the word
    called fate that is saved by the pen
    in the teardrop reign. Political drain
    and the pseudonym for pain, acronyms
    are really not that long, but then a gain
    is not really that much. A dollar earned is a
    dollar spent and an adultery learned about.

    Music, I cheated on you with poetry.
    It was sooooooo invigorating.

    I believed in magic for a while, a flutter
    in the stomach when I was able to write
    again. One of the better mistakes in my
    life. Two lines running down the side of
    my manuscript, bad printer drum.
    Two lines running down my mind, two
    sides to the brain. Told me I was left behind.
    Told him I was right up front.
    Told me I was dumb, all the
    abstract hypnosis was nothing to learn
    about.

    I excelled in English.
    I faaaailllledd you transcript gloom.

    I thought art was music torwards eyes,
    that molding a future of a character
    was frolic in the park. I was in a dark
    room getting inspiration - and they called
    me weird. Cacophony in unison.
    Chaff grenades blowing up with ideas.

    I guess by then I had lived enough to
    experience the wolrd. Take it on
    single handed. I was ready enough
    for love - for hate. For the meticulous
    pressure that it had.

    A writer is always a little weird.
    They try not to be, but there's
    a little noticeable eccentricity in
    the corner of their eye.
    Slash / fiction in the palm
    of their hands. A sweet lullaby
    at the death, reading their works.

    Live enough artists.
    Live enough writers.
    Live enough musicians.
    Because if you don't,
    what fun do we have when
    we're all dead?

    (c) DJ 2006 10/20/2006 3:12 P.M.

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  2. #2
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Nice piece, I did a piece like this back in my earlier days... It's amazing to read that piece with alot of the same ideas as i put to the table... 'music i cheated on you with poetry' was a great line, i really loved that concept, and i don't think i've come across that concept befor, so i commend you on that dude. your word choice still needs a little of improving, it's just slight lines that sets the piece to an imballanced feel. But aside from that, i thought you brought your message across very well and managed to keep me interested, it wasn't too long, and wasn't too short, just the right length for attaining the audiences attention.

    Well done man.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Ps. I gave it a nomination dude. well done.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Thanks alot man.

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  5. #5
    ya this reminded me alot of the stuff that i drop in the Po' cypher thread ... just completely random streams of consiousness that feel so distant - but yet so connected at the same time. this was a cool piece though, it always rode the boarderline of everything, and was saved at the last minute: too abstract, too simple, too complex, too distracted, too focused. haha, it was just a wierd vibe from it, but, those are the kinds of pieces i come to love. great job with this man, i liked it.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  6. #6
     
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    Ahh Exy.. I think your finally writing about things that you like to write about as opposed to pieces that you want to load with your skill just to impress the reader for a short while.. I actually read this piece twice maybe 3x (because I do believe I read it yesterday before I was intoxicated into tomorrow..... I mean now), which just goes to show that I was really enjoying what I was taking in. As Poeta mentioned, I too loved the line about "Music I cheated on you with Poetry" ... I actually have that exact same line, every word, every letter, in one of my pieces that I have in my notebook. Having that let me really relate to this on further level as a piece of your thoughts/life kind of thing, but at the same time a 3rd person kind of abstract piece that readers now-a-days enjoy very much.

    Just to reiterate what I already stated. .. . I do believe this is my favorite piece from you because of the contents of it and your word choice. You didn't do the more recent thing of yours and use a college professor vocabulary to impress, you just let loose with it and it came out beautifully in my opinion.

    I will be 2nd'ing Poeta's nom. so you know. This by far stands out among some of the poems released this month.

    Keep it up dude.. (and btw. don't stop writing, just keep doing it and doing it or else you will face the possible fait of falling off of your game and having to get the rust off.. and nobody likes that, just ask Michael Jordan)

    take it easy and if you get an opportunity to look at my new piece #47, I would be happy to hear your thoughts.

    p.s. sorry about not giving you that collab poem =P
    Roc-A-Fella !

  7. #7
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the feed.

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  8. #8
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Up.

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