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Thread: WITHERED SOCIETY: f/Truth

  1. #1
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    Withered Society : f/Truth



    Withered Society

    Truth:
    polluted souls, grab hold, of whats pure now we are are all left in the cold
    behold the putrid dictators plot unfolds, where once kindness was bold
    it know lays limp beside todays society,i feel such anxiety
    ethnic sobriety,beacuase no one gives a fuck about propreity
    hold him liable for the war across seas, our neck squeezed
    from this sudden deathly breeze find myself on my knees
    but god still hasn't awnsered,
    but with disease my sister has aids my mother cancer
    i feel fed up i've took the conditions to the brim,sight of the future is dim
    pain in my limbs, the set price of life grim
    beacause we all have be conned out of our souls now we burn
    armaggedon's here i wait for the devils return


    Forum:
    As the day turns to night, night to day and vice-versa
    can't help but witness the inflation of murders
    the replacing of life's basics to squares and burgers
    It's not only there that they want to hurt us
    The tearing down of schools and the building of prisions
    leads to the rise of ignorence and a life not worth living
    flood us with drugs, lable us thugs cause we wear our pants saggin
    I don't sag mine saggin backwards spells niggas but whose asking
    Kids think it's cool to ditch school and get blasted
    women play fools, lay wit dudes soon to regret what happened
    Children fatherless, unkowledge by love's abolishment
    No happy days just nappy braids like slave days followed them
    fifth's get copped like rocks and there they go swallowing
    now it's drunk fights and arguments from harsh feelings bottled in
    After all that has been said some may still be obliging me
    Which only varifies the fact of this WITHERED SOCIETY.


    Last edited by Forum; October 18th, 2006 at 05:31 PM


    Battles I need closed

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    Open Mic's


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  2. #2
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    Battles I need closed

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  3. #3
    DEEP but dope. props man

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABSTRACKT
    DEEP but dope. props man

    Leave decient feed plz peepz


    Battles I need closed

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  5. #5
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    OMG! Forum's part Owned everything!! XD

    Well, both parts were good and truthfully, truth had a better start but towards the end it got scrambled for me, it should've been longer.

    As for Forum, that shit was hard. Through the whole read I found myself rushing to see the next line and everything seemed to work together wordwise.

    As for the piece in whole, it was dope. I needn't say more.
    -Insert Sig-



  6. #6
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    forum's verse was ridiculous, it was the piece ive seen him write so far.

  7. #7
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    thanks for the feed even thought only (one from maz) was solid and yeah forum crushed me lol upp

    AI

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  8. #8
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    Yeah well, I'm really not hearing Anosthetic right now. Both parts were good and now that I read back over, Truth, you still did well.
    -Insert Sig-



  9. #9
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    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

    Open Mic's


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  10. #10
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    This was an aight om...some minor niggles did dent it though.

    Truth
    Your verse was good, Visual structure still an issue but flow for majority was fluid. I liked the start in the middle it became lost for big words then it was regained in the closing couplets. The closing couplets were very good i liked the devils return part.

    Forum
    Your verse was a more matured writers verse however it had some damp and ineffective concepts. I mean the don't bunk school shit is played but the saggin line was good how you flipped the word, clever. Near the ending is where your verse really started to pick up.

    Overall
    Overall, this was an aight colab but i have to say Truths verse realted to the image more than Forums but Forum still had a good verse no doubt. However, next time link the 2 verse more they didn't link as properly as they could have. Lastly, stay up and keep writing

    HONEST VOTE..in case y'all forget lol
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313136

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonny Yayo
    This was an aight om...some minor niggles did dent it though.

    Truth
    Your verse was good, Visual structure still an issue but flow for majority was fluid. I liked the start in the middle it became lost for big words then it was regained in the closing couplets. The closing couplets were very good i liked the devils return part.

    Forum
    Your verse was a more matured writers verse however it had some damp and ineffective concepts. I mean the don't bunk school shit is played but the saggin line was good how you flipped the word, clever. Near the ending is where your verse really started to pick up.

    Overall
    Overall, this was an aight colab but i have to say Truths verse realted to the image more than Forums but Forum still had a good verse no doubt. However, next time link the 2 verse more they didn't link as properly as they could have. Lastly, stay up and keep writing

    HONEST VOTE..in case y'all forget lol
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313136

    I feel that! and I thought we'd have a better picture than that but once I seen what he (TRUTH) had found I just ran with it I wanted amore u.s type pic but the one he picked fitted the title more so I just ran with it. thankx for the feed though appreciate it.


    Battles I need closed

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  12. #12
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    thankd 4 feed

    AI

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  13. #13
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  14. #14
    ~Miss Jacque~ DaMicSnatcher's Avatar
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    wow this was truly deep.....it was great... i felt what you were sayin and the emotion you tried to portray really came through to me and I felt what you wanted the readers to feel...i appluad you on this, it was dope
    HOW YOU GONNA LET A GURL BEAT YOU?

  15. #15
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    thanks lol at me suddenly being dope when like 2 weeks ago i sucked ass

    AI

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